Hello Blog!
It seems I've been neglecting you ever since we finished our 45 day challenge. Well I'm back now! I had quite the exciting weekend, lots of partying for my bday. I got to hangout with all my different friends which I love. I also went to a club downtown which was quite interesting. The one bad part was that my friend broke a bone in her foot while we were out! So it's not just me who does that ahahaha. Clearly, drinking + heels = broken feet.
So there's been a lot going on with me recently. I'm not sure how I feel about lots of things, people, and my morals. I don't know anymore. Maybe this just comes with age. I do know that when I drink I do very, very stupid and ridiculous things. But I'm ok with what's happened I think. Fate has a strange way of messing with us. Like today something completely unexpected happened and I'm back to my old self. Baaahhhh it's confusing. I feel older and wiser, and reflecting back on my naive, innocent, optimistic grade twelve self, I know I've changed a lot the past four years. I think I want to start new. I've learned how to let go and move on, but I need some work on being a stronger person. I'm getting there. Every day it feels as though something changes.
+ Lorelie
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Monday, June 20, 2011
day forty five - the end
day 45| have you any superstitions?
hmmm no. not really. the only thing i really think would be considered superstitious involved school. i can tell you that i have written every midterm and every exam wearing my beatles sweater and with my hair straight and i am afraid that since i have done so well while wearing it that it must be the sweater. i actually know its not - its totally about comfort. i do my hair and my makeup to keep me calm, to ensure that i don't freak out about the importance of the day. clearly it has worked, got me through 4 years of undergrad with a gpa over 80 and the ability to get into grad school.
go beatles sweater and straight hair!
other than that, i guess i believe, but don't partake in, superstitions in hockey - playoff beard/hair, goalies tapping the posts etc etc.
well...45 days later and here we are!
what is next blog... what is next
ray charles
hmmm no. not really. the only thing i really think would be considered superstitious involved school. i can tell you that i have written every midterm and every exam wearing my beatles sweater and with my hair straight and i am afraid that since i have done so well while wearing it that it must be the sweater. i actually know its not - its totally about comfort. i do my hair and my makeup to keep me calm, to ensure that i don't freak out about the importance of the day. clearly it has worked, got me through 4 years of undergrad with a gpa over 80 and the ability to get into grad school.
go beatles sweater and straight hair!
other than that, i guess i believe, but don't partake in, superstitions in hockey - playoff beard/hair, goalies tapping the posts etc etc.
well...45 days later and here we are!
what is next blog... what is next
ray charles
Black magic woman I believe in superstition
Day 45 – Have you any superstitions?
It’s the last day of our 45 day challenge! Wow that went by fast. Some of the questions were quite interesting and made me share things I’ve never shared, and some questions were also kind of silly or boring. Today’s question is if I have any superstitions. I have many. When I was a kid I used to have a lucky rabbits foot (I still don’t know if it was real or fake) I used as a key chain. I still throw salt over my shoulder if I spill it. I love cats so I don’t believe in the black cat crossing your path superstition, that’s just silly. I’ve walked under ladders and broken mirrors before too, but nothing bad has really happened.
For me, superstitions are more than these old irrational ideas, mainly because I have mild OCD. The definition states a superstition is a “credulous belief or notion not based on reason or knowledge.” People with OCD have many superstitions since their compulsive behaviours are sort of like acting out a superstition in a way. For example, if you spill salt you throw it over your shoulder to avoid bad luck. This is similar to doing a compulsive behaviour to avoid something bad happening. I do a lot of weird things like counting and tapping, and I guess these can be considered superstitions. You should see me during an important hockey game. I will sit in the same position even if it’s uncomfortable if my team is doing well lol.
I also looked superstition up on Wikipedia and found this: “The Roman Catholic Church considers superstition to be sinful in the sense that it denotes a lack of trust in the divine providence of God and, as such, is a violation of the first of the Ten Commandments. The Catechism of the Catholic Church states superstition in some sense represents a perverse excess of religion.” Well I’ve never been a very good Catholic then haha. But I doubt God actually cares about any of this stuff.
I got in a good hour of tanning today! I hope it rains soon so that friday will be nice, because that's when I'll be celebrating my birthday!!
+ Lorelie
It’s the last day of our 45 day challenge! Wow that went by fast. Some of the questions were quite interesting and made me share things I’ve never shared, and some questions were also kind of silly or boring. Today’s question is if I have any superstitions. I have many. When I was a kid I used to have a lucky rabbits foot (I still don’t know if it was real or fake) I used as a key chain. I still throw salt over my shoulder if I spill it. I love cats so I don’t believe in the black cat crossing your path superstition, that’s just silly. I’ve walked under ladders and broken mirrors before too, but nothing bad has really happened.
For me, superstitions are more than these old irrational ideas, mainly because I have mild OCD. The definition states a superstition is a “credulous belief or notion not based on reason or knowledge.” People with OCD have many superstitions since their compulsive behaviours are sort of like acting out a superstition in a way. For example, if you spill salt you throw it over your shoulder to avoid bad luck. This is similar to doing a compulsive behaviour to avoid something bad happening. I do a lot of weird things like counting and tapping, and I guess these can be considered superstitions. You should see me during an important hockey game. I will sit in the same position even if it’s uncomfortable if my team is doing well lol.
I also looked superstition up on Wikipedia and found this: “The Roman Catholic Church considers superstition to be sinful in the sense that it denotes a lack of trust in the divine providence of God and, as such, is a violation of the first of the Ten Commandments. The Catechism of the Catholic Church states superstition in some sense represents a perverse excess of religion.” Well I’ve never been a very good Catholic then haha. But I doubt God actually cares about any of this stuff.
I got in a good hour of tanning today! I hope it rains soon so that friday will be nice, because that's when I'll be celebrating my birthday!!
+ Lorelie
Sunday, June 19, 2011
I walk with my head down because I know I'll never impress you
Hello, Blog,
Today at work was horrible. They always leave me alone in charge with barely any help, it's not right. It gets super busy, especially on a holiday like father's day, and I'm trying to do everything. Ugh.
I watched Rory McIlroy win the US Open tonight, he's only my age too! He's kind of adorable and has a cute Irish accent. Go Rory!
Anyway, I'm watching the MMVAs right now, waiting for City and Colour to perform. Another Canadian band I like is Down with Webster, they already performed and they were pretty good. Avril Lavignr is currently performing, excuse me while I vomit. She's just standing there attempting to play guitar, which means she isn't moving around because she has to focus on getting the chords right. She looks pissed off like she doesn't want to be there at all, and possibly drunk. What happened to her...
Day 44 – Kill, bang, marry, chill of your choice
Kill: Stephen Harper for obvious reasons, Simple Plan just needs to go away already, and I guess if Ray Charles is going to kill Taylor Swift I'll have to kill Paul Walker
Bang: Tyler Bozak, Drew Doughty, Cam Hunter of Down with Webster
Marry: Kyle Wellwood (ahahaha maybe not anymore), Dallas Green, Dave Grohl
Chill: Seth Green, Jack Layton, Taylor Swift, Care Failure of Die Mannequin
+ Lorelie
Today at work was horrible. They always leave me alone in charge with barely any help, it's not right. It gets super busy, especially on a holiday like father's day, and I'm trying to do everything. Ugh.
I watched Rory McIlroy win the US Open tonight, he's only my age too! He's kind of adorable and has a cute Irish accent. Go Rory!
Anyway, I'm watching the MMVAs right now, waiting for City and Colour to perform. Another Canadian band I like is Down with Webster, they already performed and they were pretty good. Avril Lavignr is currently performing, excuse me while I vomit. She's just standing there attempting to play guitar, which means she isn't moving around because she has to focus on getting the chords right. She looks pissed off like she doesn't want to be there at all, and possibly drunk. What happened to her...
Day 44 – Kill, bang, marry, chill of your choice
Kill: Stephen Harper for obvious reasons, Simple Plan just needs to go away already, and I guess if Ray Charles is going to kill Taylor Swift I'll have to kill Paul Walker
Bang: Tyler Bozak, Drew Doughty, Cam Hunter of Down with Webster
Marry: Kyle Wellwood (ahahaha maybe not anymore), Dallas Green, Dave Grohl
Chill: Seth Green, Jack Layton, Taylor Swift, Care Failure of Die Mannequin
+ Lorelie
day forty four - my list
day 44| kill, bang, marry, chill of your choice
disclaimer: ladies, ladies, ladies (and gents if you like it), there is a great amount of hottness below.
kill
i don't like her music or her. i think she is fake and sings about nothing of importance to me.bang
i would bang paul walker
he definitely looks good naked
he also looks so good just staring at you...looking deep into your eyes
his eyes just scream come lay with me on the grass my love
he looks good chillen too, always important for a good bang
he also looks good in a suit at the end of your bed, counting your payment. ahaha.
i've been in love with paul walker since i was 13. banging would be a dream come true no doubt. the only problem is, it seems like he is all body and face and eyes and smile and nothing else. his voice bugs me. it would be one of those i'd love you if you never spoke and took your shirt off type thing, hence why i'd only bang him
marry
i'd marry ryan reynolds. cute, hot, talented and fucken hilarious! he's canadian too so hockey? timmies? oh yea love connection
you need to be hot to wear a vesticle
yumm
nice casual attire, i could compliment him well in my amazing sense of fashion
cutie
killer body!
ryan is cute but also seems really cool and really funny. hes the whole package!
chill
i would chill with jason mewes and kevin smith, jay and silent bob.
both are so funny and so cool. plus jason is adorable
its getting hott in hurrr
ray charles
Saturday, June 18, 2011
day forty three - dear seven year old self
day 43| if you could tell your seven year old self anything, what would it be?
hi seven year old ray charles,
be strong, be brave and know that everything will be alright eventually. the next few years will be the most difficult and significant years of your life. i know you want to run, i know you want to hide, but you can't. you need to be strong, you need to be there for your mom and your brothers. i know this is difficult and know that it will never be easy but you will grow and become strong and you will be able to take on any challenge. he should have loved you, he should have never left but don't dwell on his actions - he is not worth it. remember the important people and show them how much you love them. lots of scary things will happen in the next few years, but you have dano and buddha who will always be there to squeeze your hand. you may never feel like a kid again but remember to have some fun and laugh often.
your confusion and fear will subside, things will become clear and several changes will occur that will completely change the direction of your life - and you will love it, trust me. you will be surrounded by loving people and you will heal. i know you have a knot in your stomach, a lump in your throat and tears in your eyes, but those will disappear soon.
at the moment i know you can't see the end, you can't get rid of the pain, the confusion and the feeling of being lost in your own world. you feel abandoned, disappointed and wronged. your world has been turned upside down and you have no idea how to get it back. you will be alright. you may not believe it now but you will smile, you will laugh and your pain will change as all this stuff will become a thing of the past.
this will not define you. it will not be who you are. from it you will grow and learn but you will be more than this. you will not want to change your past as it will teach you so much. you will accomplish so much in your life, have amazing friends and loving family. our brothers will become less annoying by the time you are in high school and you will find a great bond with both of them. mom will smile again and laugh again. hug her and kiss her often and don't forget to tell her how much you love her and appreciate all that she has done for you.
you will have several ups and downs with friends but eventually you will find the best. promise me that you will speak your mind and let people know when they are hurting you. oh and silent treatment may not be the best thing to do.
keep your head up, you're doing just fine. smile. its okay to cry. maybe even dance a little.
love exists, it really does. not everyone will leave you and not every man will hurt you. love and let yourself be loved. have as much fun as possible.
aliens do not hang outside your window and spiders cannot harm you - use a tissue. snakes will be your enemy but that's a story i'll let you find out about on your own. short hair is good for boys but maybe not you.
keep doing well in school and keep having fun,
your much older self
ray charles
hi seven year old ray charles,
be strong, be brave and know that everything will be alright eventually. the next few years will be the most difficult and significant years of your life. i know you want to run, i know you want to hide, but you can't. you need to be strong, you need to be there for your mom and your brothers. i know this is difficult and know that it will never be easy but you will grow and become strong and you will be able to take on any challenge. he should have loved you, he should have never left but don't dwell on his actions - he is not worth it. remember the important people and show them how much you love them. lots of scary things will happen in the next few years, but you have dano and buddha who will always be there to squeeze your hand. you may never feel like a kid again but remember to have some fun and laugh often.
your confusion and fear will subside, things will become clear and several changes will occur that will completely change the direction of your life - and you will love it, trust me. you will be surrounded by loving people and you will heal. i know you have a knot in your stomach, a lump in your throat and tears in your eyes, but those will disappear soon.
at the moment i know you can't see the end, you can't get rid of the pain, the confusion and the feeling of being lost in your own world. you feel abandoned, disappointed and wronged. your world has been turned upside down and you have no idea how to get it back. you will be alright. you may not believe it now but you will smile, you will laugh and your pain will change as all this stuff will become a thing of the past.
this will not define you. it will not be who you are. from it you will grow and learn but you will be more than this. you will not want to change your past as it will teach you so much. you will accomplish so much in your life, have amazing friends and loving family. our brothers will become less annoying by the time you are in high school and you will find a great bond with both of them. mom will smile again and laugh again. hug her and kiss her often and don't forget to tell her how much you love her and appreciate all that she has done for you.
you will have several ups and downs with friends but eventually you will find the best. promise me that you will speak your mind and let people know when they are hurting you. oh and silent treatment may not be the best thing to do.
keep your head up, you're doing just fine. smile. its okay to cry. maybe even dance a little.
love exists, it really does. not everyone will leave you and not every man will hurt you. love and let yourself be loved. have as much fun as possible.
aliens do not hang outside your window and spiders cannot harm you - use a tissue. snakes will be your enemy but that's a story i'll let you find out about on your own. short hair is good for boys but maybe not you.
keep doing well in school and keep having fun,
your much older self
ray charles
Dear seven year old Lorelie,
Day 43 – If you could tell your seven year old self anything, what would it be?
The world isn't the way you think it is. It's much bigger than your classroom, your school, your neighbourhood. Most people are not like you, not everyone is idealistic, naive and kind-hearted. By the time you're finished highschool almost all the kids in your class now will no longer be in your life. But stay close to your family and your best friends because they will always be there for you. When you're fifteen you will go through what could possibly the most difficult time in your young adult life, but you will get through it. Find faith and you will find strength. By the time you turn eighteen you'll have your heart broken for real after years of endless silly crushes on silly boys. But it's not the end of the world. You will accomplish great things alongside your friends, and when you feel like they're drifting away just talk to them. Follow your heart, follow what you're passionate about. Believe in people and in the world no matter how cruel you think it is and no matter how disenchanted you become. You will eventually suck at math and calculus, but you don't need that to study politics and the environment. Do what you love to do. Listen to the lyrics and write your own. Swim as much as you can, ski as much as you can, play outside and learn to love nature. Meet new people, make friends, discover new things and never lose hope. With all it's sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.
Finally, you're not going to become a sailor soldier like Sailor Moon when you're older. But everywhere the world is still full of heroism.
The world isn't the way you think it is. It's much bigger than your classroom, your school, your neighbourhood. Most people are not like you, not everyone is idealistic, naive and kind-hearted. By the time you're finished highschool almost all the kids in your class now will no longer be in your life. But stay close to your family and your best friends because they will always be there for you. When you're fifteen you will go through what could possibly the most difficult time in your young adult life, but you will get through it. Find faith and you will find strength. By the time you turn eighteen you'll have your heart broken for real after years of endless silly crushes on silly boys. But it's not the end of the world. You will accomplish great things alongside your friends, and when you feel like they're drifting away just talk to them. Follow your heart, follow what you're passionate about. Believe in people and in the world no matter how cruel you think it is and no matter how disenchanted you become. You will eventually suck at math and calculus, but you don't need that to study politics and the environment. Do what you love to do. Listen to the lyrics and write your own. Swim as much as you can, ski as much as you can, play outside and learn to love nature. Meet new people, make friends, discover new things and never lose hope. With all it's sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.
Finally, you're not going to become a sailor soldier like Sailor Moon when you're older. But everywhere the world is still full of heroism.
+ Lorelie
Friday, June 17, 2011
When I die set my words free
Day 41 - Favorite word
I don't have just one favourite word. As a writer I love all words and use them to construct my art. I have favourite groups of words and sentences and lyrics. I've refered to my poems, songs and pieces of prose and "my words," so they're all my favourite.
I do have to say that wang is a good word.
+ Lorelie
I don't have just one favourite word. As a writer I love all words and use them to construct my art. I have favourite groups of words and sentences and lyrics. I've refered to my poems, songs and pieces of prose and "my words," so they're all my favourite.
I do have to say that wang is a good word.
+ Lorelie
day forty one - quit the word games that i play
day 41| favorite word
currently, i like the word wang
its so funny
ray charles
currently, i like the word wang
its so funny
ray charles
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Canada, WTF
Day 40 – A question about the world that you can’t figure out
I'm going to begin this by discussing what happened in Vancouver last night. The Canucks unfortunately lost game 7 to the Boston Bruins 4-0, and before the game even ended people started rioting downtown. Many families left earlier to get out safe and many stores closed in the afternoon and boarded up their windows. There were over 100,000 people watching the game outside Roger's Arena, and I'm sure the riots were full of both Canucks fans, stupid people taking advantage of the situation and anarchists. It escalted to G20 riot levels within an hour. At least seven cars were burned, the Bay store caught on fire I've heard, and many stored were looted. The news reported stabbings and many fights, some which I saw live on the CTV BC feed online late last night. I can't believe this happened!
This little girl captured how I felt perfectly.
And this....
I'm going to begin this by discussing what happened in Vancouver last night. The Canucks unfortunately lost game 7 to the Boston Bruins 4-0, and before the game even ended people started rioting downtown. Many families left earlier to get out safe and many stores closed in the afternoon and boarded up their windows. There were over 100,000 people watching the game outside Roger's Arena, and I'm sure the riots were full of both Canucks fans, stupid people taking advantage of the situation and anarchists. It escalted to G20 riot levels within an hour. At least seven cars were burned, the Bay store caught on fire I've heard, and many stored were looted. The news reported stabbings and many fights, some which I saw live on the CTV BC feed online late last night. I can't believe this happened!
This little girl captured how I felt perfectly.
These kids took the opportunity to show some love.
And this....
And many people looked like this kid.
Fortunately, many citizens did try to stop people from rioting, and there were many out today to help clean up.
I understand being angry about your team losing, maybe not the Stanley Cup final since I'm a Leafs fan, but I know the feeling. I wonder what would have happened if Canada had lost to the USA in the Olympic gold medal hockey game in 2010.
My question is why do things like this happen in Canada over a lost hockey game, when in other countries they do the same because their leader is a dictator killing his citizens? I know we love hockey and our teams, but this was just insane. People got hurt, they burned their city, the Bruins had to get a police escort to airport once the rioting was under control. This got completely out of control.
Maybe Canadians should show this type of passion and frustration with their government. I don't understand why people buy into the Conservative ads and what they sell. It's all bullshit. I don't undestand why people put the economy before the environment, or how people don't care about the poor, the homeless and those who have much less. How can society be so apathetic? How can Canada elect Harper into a four year majority? Quebec got it right, but for the wrong reasons - they voted in the NDP because they were sick of the Bloc and didn't like the Liberals or Tories. I just don't understand how people don't understand these things. Maybe once we use up our resources and finally destroy our environment people will get it. But then it will be far too late. I hope people don't buy into Ontario PC leader Tim Hudak's bullshit, Dalton McGuinty isn't that bad! He gave us the Green Energy and Green Economy Act! I'll admit the whole time-of-use energy billing is ridiculous and doesn't really reduce consumption, but a lot of great changes have been made under the Liberals. People open your minds! Tommy Douglas spoke the truth.
Anyway, I baked some chocolate muffins this afternoon and tried out a new apple-tini drink recipe...it tasted good!
+ Lorelie
day forty - the world's on heroin
day 40| a question about the world that you can’t figure out
i question capitalism and how people seem to think that its okay and right for some individuals to have more when others have none. i think its sad when our north american society celebrates wealth and forgets the people who actually made it possible.
i also question racism, sexism and the undeniable focus on gender and perfection we need to strive for. the selling of useless products, the fear instilled in us about everything and the need for others in a world where we need to validate our beliefs, ideals and actions.
i question the celebration of war, deaths of the enemy and the so called benevolence behind thousands of years of history.
i question religion and the times that it has allowed for war, genocide, murder and the prosecution and exclusion of particular individuals because of their lifestyle of believes.
i wish people would stop being sheep, stop thinking they aren't sheep because they stick it to the man by buying a shirt with the middle finger on it that was bought at some store that is owned by some big corporation who uses sweat shops somewhere to far away for our feeble minds to care about.
i don't know how people don't see it, see their place in the world and how certain actions benefit few
ray charles
i question capitalism and how people seem to think that its okay and right for some individuals to have more when others have none. i think its sad when our north american society celebrates wealth and forgets the people who actually made it possible.
i also question racism, sexism and the undeniable focus on gender and perfection we need to strive for. the selling of useless products, the fear instilled in us about everything and the need for others in a world where we need to validate our beliefs, ideals and actions.
i question the celebration of war, deaths of the enemy and the so called benevolence behind thousands of years of history.
i question religion and the times that it has allowed for war, genocide, murder and the prosecution and exclusion of particular individuals because of their lifestyle of believes.
i wish people would stop being sheep, stop thinking they aren't sheep because they stick it to the man by buying a shirt with the middle finger on it that was bought at some store that is owned by some big corporation who uses sweat shops somewhere to far away for our feeble minds to care about.
i don't know how people don't see it, see their place in the world and how certain actions benefit few
ray charles
Social Democracy FTW
Day 39 – Most stimulating thing you’ve learned this week
This weekend coming up the federal NDP is hosting their party convention in Vancouver! I read in the paper today that they will be voting on changing the wording in their constitution from "democratic socialism" to "social democratic principles." I was worried when the paper framed it as the party moving towards the centre-left, but really the NDP is just changing that "scary" word socialism to "social democracy," which is what they really are. I don't think it's too big a deal, but Jack Layton has to be careful about trying to move the party towards the centre to take the Liberal party's role.
Also, the Vancouver Canucks lost game 7 tonight to the Boston Bruins, boooooooo! At least Kaberle finally won a Cup after years with the Leafs. There are huge riots going on in Vancouver right now unfortunately, it's like 1994 all over again. The draft is next week, and then three months with no hockey.
+ Lorelie
This weekend coming up the federal NDP is hosting their party convention in Vancouver! I read in the paper today that they will be voting on changing the wording in their constitution from "democratic socialism" to "social democratic principles." I was worried when the paper framed it as the party moving towards the centre-left, but really the NDP is just changing that "scary" word socialism to "social democracy," which is what they really are. I don't think it's too big a deal, but Jack Layton has to be careful about trying to move the party towards the centre to take the Liberal party's role.
Also, the Vancouver Canucks lost game 7 tonight to the Boston Bruins, boooooooo! At least Kaberle finally won a Cup after years with the Leafs. There are huge riots going on in Vancouver right now unfortunately, it's like 1994 all over again. The draft is next week, and then three months with no hockey.
+ Lorelie
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
day thirty nine - learning
day 39| most stimulating thing you’ve learned this week
probably that a certain male is coming to my moms party
ray charles
probably that a certain male is coming to my moms party
ray charles
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Lost and Found
Day 38 – List five things you’ve lost and wonder where they might be
I recently found this necklace pendant from when I was little, apparently my mom had it this whole time haha. I need to think hard about things I’ve lost that I haven’t been able to find.
1) My mood ring I bought in the summer of 2006, I used to wear it all the time until it mysteriously disappeared in 2007.
2) My sailor moon toy locket – I wanted to find it for Halloween last year for my costume, but I couldn’t find it with my old toys. It’s probably somewhere in my basement.
3) I haven’t been writing as much recently, and I’ve had some trouble writing songs like I used to. It’s probably because I became used to writing prose and free verse poetry. It comes and goes.
4) The Leafs making the playoffs lol
5) My old naivety and optimism, but this could be for the better...it comes with age.
+ Lorelie
I recently found this necklace pendant from when I was little, apparently my mom had it this whole time haha. I need to think hard about things I’ve lost that I haven’t been able to find.
1) My mood ring I bought in the summer of 2006, I used to wear it all the time until it mysteriously disappeared in 2007.
2) My sailor moon toy locket – I wanted to find it for Halloween last year for my costume, but I couldn’t find it with my old toys. It’s probably somewhere in my basement.
3) I haven’t been writing as much recently, and I’ve had some trouble writing songs like I used to. It’s probably because I became used to writing prose and free verse poetry. It comes and goes.
4) The Leafs making the playoffs lol
5) My old naivety and optimism, but this could be for the better...it comes with age.
+ Lorelie
day thirty eight - lost boys
day 38| list five things you’ve lost and wonder where they might be
1. my black butterfly clip - i have no idea where it is. it traveled from home to school and from school to home a few times but i haven't seen it in a long time
2. polysporin - i use the gel poly on my face when i break out and ever since i moved and cut my toe i haven't been able to find it. so now i used the cream one which doesn't work as well
3. felted pen - i bought this frame that my friends from school signed and it came with an awesome felted pen that i cannot find! so sad. again, lost or misplaced in the move
4. nylons - i bought nylons to wear to prom four years ago but never wore them. i remember putting them in my treasure chest (yes i have a treasure chest..) and four years later, i can't find them. i was looking for them for grad but oh well
5. hairties - i have on hair tie at the moment and i cannot find any others!
that was difficult..
ray charles
1. my black butterfly clip - i have no idea where it is. it traveled from home to school and from school to home a few times but i haven't seen it in a long time
2. polysporin - i use the gel poly on my face when i break out and ever since i moved and cut my toe i haven't been able to find it. so now i used the cream one which doesn't work as well
3. felted pen - i bought this frame that my friends from school signed and it came with an awesome felted pen that i cannot find! so sad. again, lost or misplaced in the move
4. nylons - i bought nylons to wear to prom four years ago but never wore them. i remember putting them in my treasure chest (yes i have a treasure chest..) and four years later, i can't find them. i was looking for them for grad but oh well
5. hairties - i have on hair tie at the moment and i cannot find any others!
that was difficult..
ray charles
day thirty seven - flatter me timbers
Day 37 – Take a flattering photo focusing on something you don’t feel is flattering
i don't think it is possible to take a flattering photo of my entire being
even if i tried
ray charles
i don't think it is possible to take a flattering photo of my entire being
even if i tried
ray charles
Monday, June 13, 2011
This is screaming photo-op
Day 37 – Take a flattering photo focusing on something you don’t feel is flattering
I've learned how to ensure photos of me are not uggo, I know how to pose and which angels make me look good. Thank you next top model tips ahahaha. But obv I have certain things that I feel are unflattering. I usually hate how my hands look in photos, and in real life too. They're too big and look weird and are always awkward. So here's a photo I took today just for this challenge.
I've learned how to ensure photos of me are not uggo, I know how to pose and which angels make me look good. Thank you next top model tips ahahaha. But obv I have certain things that I feel are unflattering. I usually hate how my hands look in photos, and in real life too. They're too big and look weird and are always awkward. So here's a photo I took today just for this challenge.
Anyway, Canucks and Bruins game six tonight! The Canucks can win the series and the Cup! This is a rescue mission to bring the Cup home to Canada! Go Canucks!! Ruin the Bruins! I also baked cookies today and decorated some with sprinkles to make the Canucks logo!
+ Lorelie
Sunday, June 12, 2011
day thirty six - scar tissue that i wish you saw
Day 36 – Photo of one of your scars
this is a weird question i suppose
because why would i take a picture of one of my scars?
anyways, i have lots of scars. i wouldn't call myself clumsy but if there is a sharp corner anywhere, i am bound to hit it and get a scratch and bleed and then scar. one of my most interesting scars is actually on the bottom of my left big toe that i got the night before i moved out of my house at school. i also have a scar on my forehead (original harry potter?) from chicken pox that i must have scratched when i had them. i have a scar on one of my toes from my garbage can hahah...
there are of course emotional scars - stuff that happened with my parents and recent stuff with a best friend.
scars heal but leave a mark
ray charles
this is a weird question i suppose
because why would i take a picture of one of my scars?
anyways, i have lots of scars. i wouldn't call myself clumsy but if there is a sharp corner anywhere, i am bound to hit it and get a scratch and bleed and then scar. one of my most interesting scars is actually on the bottom of my left big toe that i got the night before i moved out of my house at school. i also have a scar on my forehead (original harry potter?) from chicken pox that i must have scratched when i had them. i have a scar on one of my toes from my garbage can hahah...
there are of course emotional scars - stuff that happened with my parents and recent stuff with a best friend.
scars heal but leave a mark
ray charles
Stop caving into your weak heart
Day 36 – Photo of one of your scars
This is a weird question for me. Scars can come in different forms, physical, emotional, not just the kind you first think of when you hear “scar.” I like to think a scar is something that won’t heal, something that remains after an injury or experience. For example, I have broken my right pinky finger and my left big toe, and they’re both kind of crooked now so I can consider those scars. Other things I consider scars are things from the past that still plague me today, but I’m getting much better at letting go and moving on. I’ve had other scars, but they’ve healed pretty well. That’s all I want to say about this.
+ Lorelie
This is a weird question for me. Scars can come in different forms, physical, emotional, not just the kind you first think of when you hear “scar.” I like to think a scar is something that won’t heal, something that remains after an injury or experience. For example, I have broken my right pinky finger and my left big toe, and they’re both kind of crooked now so I can consider those scars. Other things I consider scars are things from the past that still plague me today, but I’m getting much better at letting go and moving on. I’ve had other scars, but they’ve healed pretty well. That’s all I want to say about this.
+ Lorelie
Saturday, June 11, 2011
day thirty five - let the bodies hit the floor
Day 35 – Photo of your favourite body part
umm
im more impartial to my body
but i guess if i had to choose i would say my favourite part are my eyes. they are a weird colour and change depending on the light and how tired i am. usually they are a dark greenish with yellow and specks of brown and other times they are closer to hazel looking. they are also really really green when i am really tired and when i yawn or cry or cry from laughing
ray charles
umm
im more impartial to my body
but i guess if i had to choose i would say my favourite part are my eyes. they are a weird colour and change depending on the light and how tired i am. usually they are a dark greenish with yellow and specks of brown and other times they are closer to hazel looking. they are also really really green when i am really tired and when i yawn or cry or cry from laughing
ray charles
Favourite Parts
Day 35 – Photo of your favourite body part
I don't know if I have a favourite body part, I know I have some least favourites though haha. I really like my hair, I've embraced my natural curls and I like the colour. It's also long and I can style it any way. I like my eye colour, but the shape is not the best, the outside corners sort of turn down. I have a symmetrical and proportionate face haha, so I like that, I think it's pretty lol. I like my legs, they're nice.
ps. Canucks won game 5! Now they can win the Cup on Monday! Go Canucks!!
+ Lorelie
I don't know if I have a favourite body part, I know I have some least favourites though haha. I really like my hair, I've embraced my natural curls and I like the colour. It's also long and I can style it any way. I like my eye colour, but the shape is not the best, the outside corners sort of turn down. I have a symmetrical and proportionate face haha, so I like that, I think it's pretty lol. I like my legs, they're nice.
ps. Canucks won game 5! Now they can win the Cup on Monday! Go Canucks!!
+ Lorelie
Friday, June 10, 2011
day thirty four - whats the number for 9-1-1?
laura asked: what three items would you save in your room in a fire?
well assuming my family and animals were all okay in my room
i would save
1. my hard drive - it has all of my photos and movies and school work
2. my laptop - it has all my recent photos and everything i need
3. my teddy - love my little orange bear from my nonno that i got the day i was born
ray charles
well assuming my family and animals were all okay in my room
i would save
1. my hard drive - it has all of my photos and movies and school work
2. my laptop - it has all my recent photos and everything i need
3. my teddy - love my little orange bear from my nonno that i got the day i was born
ray charles
Erode me until we fit
Day 34 – Most current photo not taken on webcam (play around and dress up if you want!)
That question is lame, so Ray Charles and I decided to ask each other questions again. She asked me - If you had one month left to live, what would you do?
I remember on one of our highschool religion retreats we had a question like this. I said I would take all my friends and family to a Leafs game haha. I know I would definately try to meet all the hockey players I like, especially the Leafs. I would want to meet Dallas Green again and talk to him about songwriting and lyrics. I would love to travel to the places I've always wanted to go to - Japan, Finland, Italy, and across Canada. I would want to get all my songs and poems put together in a nice book, maybe get them published. Finally, I would want to spend as much time with family and friends as possible, do fun things like go to concerts and travel. I would also try to set up some sort of charity fund for a cause I care about, like helping the environment or kids who can't afford to go to university.
Ok, now I'm going to ramble about City&Colour! I looovvvveee Dallas' new album. It's one of those albums that you can't believe you've never heard before, it feels like I've been listening to it for years. The lyrics are so amazing and brilliant and honest and emotional. The sound is a bit different than his older stuff, but he's been changing slowly and progressing for years in a way that's never drastic. I love hearing his progession, especially how he makes new versions of old songs. He did a new version of "Sleeping Sickness" on his last album, and on Little Hell he did a new version of "Urgency" now called "Weightless." It's so fucking brilliant.
The song "Little Hell" (also the album name, so hopefully it will be a single) is probably one of my favourites. The lyrics have just intense meaning and you can really feel it in his voice. It's funny because a song I wrote over a year ago called "Erosion and Patience" is somewhat similar, specifically the first verse. It's about dwelling on the past and things that plague you and not being able to be in a relationship. This is the first verse from my song:
There are half empty glasses cluttering my mind
And harbours surrounding the heart you'll never find
Your tired ship is sailing through an ambivalent sea
But docking in my body is an unlikely probability
Because being safe means being alone
And we'll never be able to build a home
Now here's Dallas' song!
"Little Hell" by City&Colour
What if I can't be all that you need me to be
We've got a good thing going, we have some promises to keep
But my addiction it can be such a detriment
Please believe in this my dear, I am more than penitent
What if everything’s just the way that it will be
Could it be that I am meant to cause you all this grief
My war ships are lying off the coast of your delicate heart
And my aim is steady and true as it's been right from the start
There's a degree of difficulty in dealing with me
From my haunted past comes a daunting task of living through memories.
If we could just hang a mirror on the bedroom wall, stare into the past and forget it all
So when we leave it'll be a quick midnight escape
We'll disconnect ourselves from all of yesterday
I'll dig for water and fashion our very own wishing well
Then we'll throw our coins down hoping to rid of us of this little hell
There's a degree of difficulty in dealing with me
From my haunted past comes a daunting task of living through memories.
If we could just hang a mirror on the bedroom wall, stare into the past and forget it all
Will we get out of this little hell?
+ Lorelie
That question is lame, so Ray Charles and I decided to ask each other questions again. She asked me - If you had one month left to live, what would you do?
I remember on one of our highschool religion retreats we had a question like this. I said I would take all my friends and family to a Leafs game haha. I know I would definately try to meet all the hockey players I like, especially the Leafs. I would want to meet Dallas Green again and talk to him about songwriting and lyrics. I would love to travel to the places I've always wanted to go to - Japan, Finland, Italy, and across Canada. I would want to get all my songs and poems put together in a nice book, maybe get them published. Finally, I would want to spend as much time with family and friends as possible, do fun things like go to concerts and travel. I would also try to set up some sort of charity fund for a cause I care about, like helping the environment or kids who can't afford to go to university.
Ok, now I'm going to ramble about City&Colour! I looovvvveee Dallas' new album. It's one of those albums that you can't believe you've never heard before, it feels like I've been listening to it for years. The lyrics are so amazing and brilliant and honest and emotional. The sound is a bit different than his older stuff, but he's been changing slowly and progressing for years in a way that's never drastic. I love hearing his progession, especially how he makes new versions of old songs. He did a new version of "Sleeping Sickness" on his last album, and on Little Hell he did a new version of "Urgency" now called "Weightless." It's so fucking brilliant.
The song "Little Hell" (also the album name, so hopefully it will be a single) is probably one of my favourites. The lyrics have just intense meaning and you can really feel it in his voice. It's funny because a song I wrote over a year ago called "Erosion and Patience" is somewhat similar, specifically the first verse. It's about dwelling on the past and things that plague you and not being able to be in a relationship. This is the first verse from my song:
There are half empty glasses cluttering my mind
And harbours surrounding the heart you'll never find
Your tired ship is sailing through an ambivalent sea
But docking in my body is an unlikely probability
Because being safe means being alone
And we'll never be able to build a home
Now here's Dallas' song!
"Little Hell" by City&Colour
What if I can't be all that you need me to be
We've got a good thing going, we have some promises to keep
But my addiction it can be such a detriment
Please believe in this my dear, I am more than penitent
What if everything’s just the way that it will be
Could it be that I am meant to cause you all this grief
My war ships are lying off the coast of your delicate heart
And my aim is steady and true as it's been right from the start
There's a degree of difficulty in dealing with me
From my haunted past comes a daunting task of living through memories.
If we could just hang a mirror on the bedroom wall, stare into the past and forget it all
So when we leave it'll be a quick midnight escape
We'll disconnect ourselves from all of yesterday
I'll dig for water and fashion our very own wishing well
Then we'll throw our coins down hoping to rid of us of this little hell
There's a degree of difficulty in dealing with me
From my haunted past comes a daunting task of living through memories.
If we could just hang a mirror on the bedroom wall, stare into the past and forget it all
Will we get out of this little hell?
+ Lorelie
What if everything is just the way that it will be
Day 33 – List three things you want out of life that you are currently working towards
1) Finding a new job, preferably one in government or even in the environment field.
2) Spending time with my friends and family and enjoying this summer.
3) Paying back my loans (by finding a new job that pays well), moving out, buying a car, doing the whole independent adult thing.
Ok, so I had some trouble thinking of things. But I guess I'm at a strange place in my life right now.
+ Lorelie
1) Finding a new job, preferably one in government or even in the environment field.
2) Spending time with my friends and family and enjoying this summer.
3) Paying back my loans (by finding a new job that pays well), moving out, buying a car, doing the whole independent adult thing.
Ok, so I had some trouble thinking of things. But I guess I'm at a strange place in my life right now.
+ Lorelie
Thursday, June 9, 2011
day thirty three - 3 thangs
day 33| list three things you want out of life that you are currently working towards
1. get my ma (haven't started the program yet but still)
2. make a difference in the world
3. surround myself with good people
ray charles
1. get my ma (haven't started the program yet but still)
2. make a difference in the world
3. surround myself with good people
ray charles
Old Photo
Day 32 - Photo of yourself at least ten years ago
Here is an old photo of me and my bro I already had on my computer. I'm thinking 1990.
I spent my night playing video games with some friends....normal driving just seems boring now haha. And yes, Canucks are doing awful right now. They'll make a come back. Go Canucks!!
+ Lorelie
Here is an old photo of me and my bro I already had on my computer. I'm thinking 1990.
I spent my night playing video games with some friends....normal driving just seems boring now haha. And yes, Canucks are doing awful right now. They'll make a come back. Go Canucks!!
+ Lorelie
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
day thirty two - ten years ago
day 32| photo of yourself at least ten years ago
think of me as a youngin
aww
ray charles
think of me as a youngin
aww
ray charles
I'm a Bachelor!
Day 31 - Jump on a tumblr bandwagon just for today
I don't know what tumblr is exactly, and it annoys me that it's spelt "tumblr" too. I also am not a fan of bandwagon jumping, unless your team has been eliminated or we're voting like they do at Canadian political party leadership conventions lol...feel free to jump aboard the Canucks bandwagon now, ruin the Bruins! Ok I know, last game wasn't pretty...but hey, the Blackhawks destroyed them 7-3 at one point, even forced a game 7, and the Canucks came back to win that series. Raffi Torres also took out Seabrook in the beginning of that series, and Seabrook missed a few games with a concussion...now Aaron Rome took out Nathan Horton, but he actually got suspended for it for the rest of the playoffs...but you see what I'm saying. They faced similar adversity before, they can do it again! Go Canucks!!
I also GRADUATED TODAY! I got my diploma framed all nicely too. I need to make wall space for it now. I have a wicked tan (as in a bit lobster red) on my chest and face, and I have the sunglasses tan too bahahaha....but at least it's a tan and will turn dark soon!
I got the new City and Colour cd today too! Picked it up while I was downtown. But it won't upload properly to my itunes...boo! Need to figure this out tomorrow. I'm actually super tired right now, going to bed early tonight.
ps. Congrats to Ray Charles who graduates tomorrow!
+ Lorelie
I don't know what tumblr is exactly, and it annoys me that it's spelt "tumblr" too. I also am not a fan of bandwagon jumping, unless your team has been eliminated or we're voting like they do at Canadian political party leadership conventions lol...feel free to jump aboard the Canucks bandwagon now, ruin the Bruins! Ok I know, last game wasn't pretty...but hey, the Blackhawks destroyed them 7-3 at one point, even forced a game 7, and the Canucks came back to win that series. Raffi Torres also took out Seabrook in the beginning of that series, and Seabrook missed a few games with a concussion...now Aaron Rome took out Nathan Horton, but he actually got suspended for it for the rest of the playoffs...but you see what I'm saying. They faced similar adversity before, they can do it again! Go Canucks!!
I also GRADUATED TODAY! I got my diploma framed all nicely too. I need to make wall space for it now. I have a wicked tan (as in a bit lobster red) on my chest and face, and I have the sunglasses tan too bahahaha....but at least it's a tan and will turn dark soon!
I got the new City and Colour cd today too! Picked it up while I was downtown. But it won't upload properly to my itunes...boo! Need to figure this out tomorrow. I'm actually super tired right now, going to bed early tonight.
ps. Congrats to Ray Charles who graduates tomorrow!
+ Lorelie
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
day thirty one - bandwagon
day 31| jump on a tumblr bandwagon just for today
i don't jump on bandwagons
and i dont even know what tumblr is
according to wikipedia "Tumblr is a blogging platform that allows users to post text, images, video, links, quotes, and audio to their tumblelog, a short-form blog."
hmm
social media is lame
ray charles
i don't jump on bandwagons
and i dont even know what tumblr is
according to wikipedia "Tumblr is a blogging platform that allows users to post text, images, video, links, quotes, and audio to their tumblelog, a short-form blog."
hmm
social media is lame
ray charles
Monday, June 6, 2011
day thirty - one month? let's be frivolous!
day 30| reward yourself with something frivolous.
lets see
i am rewarding myself by watching funny, non-serious youtube videos
ray charles
lets see
i am rewarding myself by watching funny, non-serious youtube videos
ray charles
What if eveything is just the way it's meant to be
Day 30 – Reward yourself with something frivolous
Tanning in my backyard, shopping downtown, City and Colour show tonight!
I graduate tomorrow wooooooooo! But I'm still pasty white. Come on skin, darken!
+ Lorelie
Tanning in my backyard, shopping downtown, City and Colour show tonight!
I graduate tomorrow wooooooooo! But I'm still pasty white. Come on skin, darken!
+ Lorelie
Haikus are too short
Day 29 – Write a haiku or make a friendship bracelet or start a creative endeavour
I don't write haikus, but I do write other poems, lyrics and prose. Maybe I'll do some other creative projects this summer! This is my lame haiku haha - they go 5 syllables, 7 syllables, 5 syllables.
I don't write haikus
I write lyrics, poems and prose
Haikus are too short
Below is something I wrote on May 25th.
Warning Signs
I’ve never been the best with description
Maybe it’s because I always rely on my tired metaphors
And my worn out emotions
The same ones that have been following me around for years
I know these feelings all too well
They come and go as they please
I know all the warning signs
But there’s only so much I can do to stop them
From taking over and stripping me of
Any sensibility that my heart understands
Even when my head is the one in control
It just floods my veins with illogical thoughts
And irrational ideas
About counting and repeating and staying safe
I wonder what’s made me this cynical
I never used to be this way
Well maybe that’s not true either
Even in my own imagined worlds things have fallen apart
They’ve turned their backs on me too
I guess it’s a sign that I finally need to face reality
My old self would be ashamed of my new philosophies
But my old self isn’t here to judge me anymore
I wanted you to feel everything I’ve felt
Because why should you be fine
But it’s not like you’re responsible for all of this
I guess I’m just being cruel
I wonder what’s made me this bitter
These feelings just build until they break
Until I cave in again
Do you know what that feels like
Because if you did I would hope that
You would come and save me
I always thought you would
Well no one has yet
Maybe no one will until I can save myself
This may take a while
I keep hoping fate will pull me out of these cycles with dead ends
Because God knows how badly I want it
Yet here I remain like nothing’s changed at all
I wonder what’s made me this undeserving
All I want is to start something new and to stop relying
On my old bad habits for comfort
But most of the time they’re all I have
I wish I wasn’t so afraid of the unknown
If only they understood
My mind tells my heart not to cave in and my heart tells my mind to fuck off
Because you don’t know what this feels like
Well my heart doesn’t know that it’s probably the more rational of the two
In the end though
My mind is a liar and my heart is a liar and I guess I’m just a liar
I wonder what’s made me so dishonest
+ Lorelie
I don't write haikus, but I do write other poems, lyrics and prose. Maybe I'll do some other creative projects this summer! This is my lame haiku haha - they go 5 syllables, 7 syllables, 5 syllables.
I don't write haikus
I write lyrics, poems and prose
Haikus are too short
Below is something I wrote on May 25th.
Warning Signs
I’ve never been the best with description
Maybe it’s because I always rely on my tired metaphors
And my worn out emotions
The same ones that have been following me around for years
I know these feelings all too well
They come and go as they please
I know all the warning signs
But there’s only so much I can do to stop them
From taking over and stripping me of
Any sensibility that my heart understands
Even when my head is the one in control
It just floods my veins with illogical thoughts
And irrational ideas
About counting and repeating and staying safe
I wonder what’s made me this cynical
I never used to be this way
Well maybe that’s not true either
Even in my own imagined worlds things have fallen apart
They’ve turned their backs on me too
I guess it’s a sign that I finally need to face reality
My old self would be ashamed of my new philosophies
But my old self isn’t here to judge me anymore
I wanted you to feel everything I’ve felt
Because why should you be fine
But it’s not like you’re responsible for all of this
I guess I’m just being cruel
I wonder what’s made me this bitter
These feelings just build until they break
Until I cave in again
Do you know what that feels like
Because if you did I would hope that
You would come and save me
I always thought you would
Well no one has yet
Maybe no one will until I can save myself
This may take a while
I keep hoping fate will pull me out of these cycles with dead ends
Because God knows how badly I want it
Yet here I remain like nothing’s changed at all
I wonder what’s made me this undeserving
All I want is to start something new and to stop relying
On my old bad habits for comfort
But most of the time they’re all I have
I wish I wasn’t so afraid of the unknown
If only they understood
My mind tells my heart not to cave in and my heart tells my mind to fuck off
Because you don’t know what this feels like
Well my heart doesn’t know that it’s probably the more rational of the two
In the end though
My mind is a liar and my heart is a liar and I guess I’m just a liar
I wonder what’s made me so dishonest
+ Lorelie
Sunday, June 5, 2011
day twenty nine - let's get creative
day 29| write a haiku or make a friendship bracelet or start a creative endeavor
i'd like to paint sometime soon
and make silent bob for buddha
and a panda for my cousin
hmm
ray charles
i'd like to paint sometime soon
and make silent bob for buddha
and a panda for my cousin
hmm
ray charles
Saturday, June 4, 2011
day twenty eight - my voice sounds like a 5 year old on the phone
Day 28 – Call a grandparent or relative that isn’t expecting your voice
i didn't call any relative today but i did see my lovely cousin today! we went for coffee at starbucks where i saw another friend haha. we chatted over iced coffee! i love seeing her. she is this awesome voice of reason and we get along so well and are quite similar even though we didn't grow up together. we saw kung fu panda, it was really cute!
so that is my answer. we did plan on seeing each other but meh its a relative
ray charles
i didn't call any relative today but i did see my lovely cousin today! we went for coffee at starbucks where i saw another friend haha. we chatted over iced coffee! i love seeing her. she is this awesome voice of reason and we get along so well and are quite similar even though we didn't grow up together. we saw kung fu panda, it was really cute!
so that is my answer. we did plan on seeing each other but meh its a relative
ray charles
Expect the unexpected
Day 28 – Call a grandparent or relative that isn’t expecting your voice
I heard my mom talking to my grandma on the phone today, but I was on my way out to go to work. However, my parents went to get a picture frame for my grad photo and the girl who helped them at Blacks' is an old highschool friend. She had art class with me and I always thought she was nice. So she helped them out and realized it was me in the photo bahahaha...so I sent her a message on facebook. That was unexpected.
I love my work, my friends are awesome and my managers are hilarious. Fun shift today.
Game two tonight, go Canucks!!
+ Lorelie
I heard my mom talking to my grandma on the phone today, but I was on my way out to go to work. However, my parents went to get a picture frame for my grad photo and the girl who helped them at Blacks' is an old highschool friend. She had art class with me and I always thought she was nice. So she helped them out and realized it was me in the photo bahahaha...so I sent her a message on facebook. That was unexpected.
I love my work, my friends are awesome and my managers are hilarious. Fun shift today.
Game two tonight, go Canucks!!
+ Lorelie
Friday, June 3, 2011
Can I make drinks instead?
Day 27 – Bake something and share it
I was at work all day, tried to tan outside for half an hour, and I'm having Ray Charles and friends over for drinks tonight. So no baking. I'll do it next week! Making drinks instead, lemonade martinis!
+ Lorelie
I was at work all day, tried to tan outside for half an hour, and I'm having Ray Charles and friends over for drinks tonight. So no baking. I'll do it next week! Making drinks instead, lemonade martinis!
+ Lorelie
day twenty seven - bake!
day 27| bake something and share it
yea... im not baking
i will make dinner though. that counts in my eyes
ray charles
yea... im not baking
i will make dinner though. that counts in my eyes
ray charles
Thursday, June 2, 2011
You Must Follow Your Heart
Day 26 - Ask each other a question, it can be anything!
Ray Charles asked me: Which moment would you go back to and what would you change? Why?
I've been thinking about this since Ray Charles asked me last night. I don't really believe in having regrets, because at the time it was exactly what you wanted. I know there are certain moments, either embarrassing or painful, that I would change if I could, but than I wouldn't be who I am today. I also know at the time of certain moments, my actions or what I said was exactly what I wanted, and things usually happen for a reason.
The only regret I truly have has to do with my friend (her nickname was bubble gum because she always used to cling to my arm at recess when we were little) who passed away in November 2007. I grew up with her and she was one of my best friends. When she started highschool (a different one than mine) we sort of stopped seeing each other except on birthdays or the occasional holiday, and we didn't really talk too much. She began hanging out with some "bad kids," got involved with the wrong crowd, did some things any parent wouldn't want their kid to do, you get the idea. I remember telling my mom something like, "Tell her to come hang out with me and I'll set her straight." I always thought that maybe she just needed other friends who didn't do "bad things" and maybe I could get through to her somehow. But I never made a real effort. One time I went over to her house with my mom, and when we got there we found out she had run away from home that day. Fortunately she came back, but I think I was just over everything at that point and kind of gave up on her.
By the time I was finishing highschool, she had sort of changed and was trying to do better. I remember I would see her some times on the bus coming home from school, and we would always talk til I reached my stop and got off. I will always remember what I'm pretty sure was the last time I saw her and talked to her. It was on the bus home from school at the end of the year, so it was May or June. And I keep thinking why didn't I just go and hang out with her that day? Why did I just go home?
I don't think I saw her that summer. She would usually come by for my birthday, and I was graduating highschool then too. I'm pretty sure her mom came by my house in June to drop off a gift, but I don't think I saw my friend. Then I started first year of university and was caught up in my own life. I remember the night I found out she died, the phone rang around midnight, and when the phone rings that late you know it's something bad. I just remember my mom telling me to come to her room and she was saying my friend's name. I didn't really absorb it or except it that night, it was just all so strange. I remember the next few days some old friends were calling me asking me what happened, and we went to her funeral and everything...I didn't even know what to feel or how to feel, nothing. The only death I ever dealt with was my grandpa when I was thirteen, and I don't think I really fully understood or thought about how bad it was back then. But back in 2007 I was eighteen and it was surreal.
I wrote kind of a letter to her on facebook a year later. It was sort of like me finally letting out how I felt and everything. It was good to get it out. I still regret not talking to her or going to see her before she died. It's something that will probably always linger in my mind. I know it's changed who I am today, and I like to think I've become a better friend because of it. I know she would be happy to know how much I care about her and her family, and that I do really miss her. Sometimes I wish I could talk to her again, and just tell her things. I have old notes and photos and things she gave me. I have a photo from my 12th birthday party with her and some other friends in my room, and it's one of my favourite photos ever. I don't know if we'd be best friends today, maybe we would have become too different or something. But I will always have memories of the things we did, like the best sleepovers I ever had as a kid were at her house for her birthdays.
I wrote a song in October 2008, here's one of the verses:
"And you look at that old photo
The one with the face you’re afraid you’ll forget
The last time you saw her was on a city bus
And that just might be your biggest regret"
I will always regret getting off the bus.
+ Lorelie
Ray Charles asked me: Which moment would you go back to and what would you change? Why?
I've been thinking about this since Ray Charles asked me last night. I don't really believe in having regrets, because at the time it was exactly what you wanted. I know there are certain moments, either embarrassing or painful, that I would change if I could, but than I wouldn't be who I am today. I also know at the time of certain moments, my actions or what I said was exactly what I wanted, and things usually happen for a reason.
The only regret I truly have has to do with my friend (her nickname was bubble gum because she always used to cling to my arm at recess when we were little) who passed away in November 2007. I grew up with her and she was one of my best friends. When she started highschool (a different one than mine) we sort of stopped seeing each other except on birthdays or the occasional holiday, and we didn't really talk too much. She began hanging out with some "bad kids," got involved with the wrong crowd, did some things any parent wouldn't want their kid to do, you get the idea. I remember telling my mom something like, "Tell her to come hang out with me and I'll set her straight." I always thought that maybe she just needed other friends who didn't do "bad things" and maybe I could get through to her somehow. But I never made a real effort. One time I went over to her house with my mom, and when we got there we found out she had run away from home that day. Fortunately she came back, but I think I was just over everything at that point and kind of gave up on her.
By the time I was finishing highschool, she had sort of changed and was trying to do better. I remember I would see her some times on the bus coming home from school, and we would always talk til I reached my stop and got off. I will always remember what I'm pretty sure was the last time I saw her and talked to her. It was on the bus home from school at the end of the year, so it was May or June. And I keep thinking why didn't I just go and hang out with her that day? Why did I just go home?
I don't think I saw her that summer. She would usually come by for my birthday, and I was graduating highschool then too. I'm pretty sure her mom came by my house in June to drop off a gift, but I don't think I saw my friend. Then I started first year of university and was caught up in my own life. I remember the night I found out she died, the phone rang around midnight, and when the phone rings that late you know it's something bad. I just remember my mom telling me to come to her room and she was saying my friend's name. I didn't really absorb it or except it that night, it was just all so strange. I remember the next few days some old friends were calling me asking me what happened, and we went to her funeral and everything...I didn't even know what to feel or how to feel, nothing. The only death I ever dealt with was my grandpa when I was thirteen, and I don't think I really fully understood or thought about how bad it was back then. But back in 2007 I was eighteen and it was surreal.
I wrote kind of a letter to her on facebook a year later. It was sort of like me finally letting out how I felt and everything. It was good to get it out. I still regret not talking to her or going to see her before she died. It's something that will probably always linger in my mind. I know it's changed who I am today, and I like to think I've become a better friend because of it. I know she would be happy to know how much I care about her and her family, and that I do really miss her. Sometimes I wish I could talk to her again, and just tell her things. I have old notes and photos and things she gave me. I have a photo from my 12th birthday party with her and some other friends in my room, and it's one of my favourite photos ever. I don't know if we'd be best friends today, maybe we would have become too different or something. But I will always have memories of the things we did, like the best sleepovers I ever had as a kid were at her house for her birthdays.
I wrote a song in October 2008, here's one of the verses:
"And you look at that old photo
The one with the face you’re afraid you’ll forget
The last time you saw her was on a city bus
And that just might be your biggest regret"
I will always regret getting off the bus.
+ Lorelie
day twenty six - ask me a question!
day 26| ask each other a question, it can be anything!
lorelie asked: if you could change anything about your life, what would it be and why?
it took me some time to come up with an answer to this question mainly because i don't think we should live with wanting to change things or live with regrets. i really don't think that living with those thoughts are productive in the process of growing and becoming your own person.
the question offers a few difficulties for me mainly because of this belief but also because i have a really good life and where i am in the world today and those i am with today are not people i would want out of my life. i like who i have become and the people around me who keep me in check. i do feel like there are things in my life that i am missing but i don't dwell on them because what i have is so much more important than what i don't.
to th question though. there is a specific thing in my life that i think i would change. if i could, i woul change the negative effects that still effect my life today and will always effect my life from my parents seperation, eventual divorce and the abandonment for lack of a better word by my father. it must be clear that i am taking about the effects of it not the actual occurrence of it. i would not change what happened because i am who i am and where i am with the dreams, desires and life experience because of it. for all i know, if this had never happened, i know i wouldn't know the people i do today and i may not even be who i am. i could be a total bitch or a pirncess if none of this would have happened.
what i would change are the great effects of the emotional, financial and psychological abuse that i experienced since everything happened 15 years ago. i would change living in constant fear of some asshole. i would change being afraid of love and the uncontrollable way in which i approach relationships with caution instead of with an open mind. i would change worrying about money and not knowing what is going to happen next.
in changing some of these things, i would think quit a bit would change. its all speculation but i may feel less worthless, less worried about being left, have the ability to get close to people and maybe even love someone.
in changing this all for myself, i would definetly change this for my mom, dano and buddha. it is quite obvious why i would change it for my mom - the emotional distress of having a controlling husband who is a jackass father, the financial struggle which is still present today and the craziness of raising three kids on your own while trying to give them the most normal childhood they could have. for dano and buddha i would change and the same stuff i'd change for myself. although the effects are different for the three of us, life would be different if i was changed.
i would change the negative effects of what happened because they have informed so many things in my life that i can't even control or even think about.
ray charles
lorelie asked: if you could change anything about your life, what would it be and why?
it took me some time to come up with an answer to this question mainly because i don't think we should live with wanting to change things or live with regrets. i really don't think that living with those thoughts are productive in the process of growing and becoming your own person.
the question offers a few difficulties for me mainly because of this belief but also because i have a really good life and where i am in the world today and those i am with today are not people i would want out of my life. i like who i have become and the people around me who keep me in check. i do feel like there are things in my life that i am missing but i don't dwell on them because what i have is so much more important than what i don't.
to th question though. there is a specific thing in my life that i think i would change. if i could, i woul change the negative effects that still effect my life today and will always effect my life from my parents seperation, eventual divorce and the abandonment for lack of a better word by my father. it must be clear that i am taking about the effects of it not the actual occurrence of it. i would not change what happened because i am who i am and where i am with the dreams, desires and life experience because of it. for all i know, if this had never happened, i know i wouldn't know the people i do today and i may not even be who i am. i could be a total bitch or a pirncess if none of this would have happened.
what i would change are the great effects of the emotional, financial and psychological abuse that i experienced since everything happened 15 years ago. i would change living in constant fear of some asshole. i would change being afraid of love and the uncontrollable way in which i approach relationships with caution instead of with an open mind. i would change worrying about money and not knowing what is going to happen next.
in changing some of these things, i would think quit a bit would change. its all speculation but i may feel less worthless, less worried about being left, have the ability to get close to people and maybe even love someone.
in changing this all for myself, i would definetly change this for my mom, dano and buddha. it is quite obvious why i would change it for my mom - the emotional distress of having a controlling husband who is a jackass father, the financial struggle which is still present today and the craziness of raising three kids on your own while trying to give them the most normal childhood they could have. for dano and buddha i would change and the same stuff i'd change for myself. although the effects are different for the three of us, life would be different if i was changed.
i would change the negative effects of what happened because they have informed so many things in my life that i can't even control or even think about.
ray charles
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
It's your eyes I don't believe and my heart you will deceive
Day 25 – Tell someone something you wouldn’t ordinarily share
So am I supposed to share something I wouldn’t normally tell anyone on our blog? Or actually tell someone something? Well, I’ve shared a few things on here I wouldn’t normally tell anyone. I talked about my OCD two days ago, that’s something I’ve never really shared. There are other things, but some things should remain secretsssss hahaha. I would like to think there are a lot of things I want to tell and ask a certain person, but I don’t think I care anymore.
One thing not many people would know is that I watch anime. I grew up on shows like Sailor Moon, Dragon Ball, Cardcaptors, Digimon and Pokemon, and I really do enjoy watching anime. I’ve watched different series I’ve discovered online the past few years too. And I really love Hayao Miyazaki and Studio Ghibli films.
So my friend sent me the link to the MTV leak of the new City&Colour album!! It comes out next Tuesday, but I've been listening to it since last night lol...I'm sooooo happy! I will definately be doing a blog post review of the album next week once I have it and can read all the lyrics properly. The title of this post is a lyric from the song "Weightless," which is a new version of his old song "Urgency." Dallas Green is love.
+ Lorelie
So am I supposed to share something I wouldn’t normally tell anyone on our blog? Or actually tell someone something? Well, I’ve shared a few things on here I wouldn’t normally tell anyone. I talked about my OCD two days ago, that’s something I’ve never really shared. There are other things, but some things should remain secretsssss hahaha. I would like to think there are a lot of things I want to tell and ask a certain person, but I don’t think I care anymore.
One thing not many people would know is that I watch anime. I grew up on shows like Sailor Moon, Dragon Ball, Cardcaptors, Digimon and Pokemon, and I really do enjoy watching anime. I’ve watched different series I’ve discovered online the past few years too. And I really love Hayao Miyazaki and Studio Ghibli films.
So my friend sent me the link to the MTV leak of the new City&Colour album!! It comes out next Tuesday, but I've been listening to it since last night lol...I'm sooooo happy! I will definately be doing a blog post review of the album next week once I have it and can read all the lyrics properly. The title of this post is a lyric from the song "Weightless," which is a new version of his old song "Urgency." Dallas Green is love.
+ Lorelie
day twenty five - sharing is caring
day 25| tell someone something you wouldn’t ordinarily share
umm this is kind of a difficult one because i can't think of something to share really.
if i counts i told my buddha that i'm proud of him and i know everything will be all good. i wouldn't normally share that with him unless there was a problem haha... i don't know
so thats my answer because i've got nothing
ray charles
umm this is kind of a difficult one because i can't think of something to share really.
if i counts i told my buddha that i'm proud of him and i know everything will be all good. i wouldn't normally share that with him unless there was a problem haha... i don't know
so thats my answer because i've got nothing
ray charles
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