eleven

lorelie was telling me about this thing she is doing where she writes a verse in a poem about 11 different people.
since i am not poetic in the slightest, i though i'd alter it a little.
so
here is what i'd say to eleven people in my life in no particular order and with no particular form.
care to guess if you know me and if you don't, read my thoughts and maybe try it yourself. you may be surprised on what you'd say! or you may not actually. i am more surprised on how difficult it is for me to think of eleven people.

person one
when i first met you, i had no idea we'd have what we do today.
you know me the best out of anyone.
you know what i am going to say, what i am thinking, how i will react and what i will do.
you've completely accepted me for who i am
and have gotten used to all my quirks.
i cherish our moments, our words, the laughter and tears that have occurred in the last few years.
you push me to go further.
you push me to keep dreaming.
and you truly believe in me.
i never thought i'd have a friendship like ours ever again.
it so nice to be complete like fish and water, trees and dirt, paper and pens,
spongebob and patrick.

person two
i hope you know i don't miss you.
at all actually.
and i don't care if you miss me or what you think of me.
some things are still hard like thinking about high school and first year.
some things are also difficult to talk about because we did them together.
i plan to take down the pictures on my closet you know.
i am sick of seeing pictures of us when we were happy.
i don't want to forget the memories, rather its truly time to fully move on and i am ready.
you will never be forgiven nor will i ever forget your words.
they don't haunt me like they used to and bombard my thoughts.
instead they are locked away and sealed
only to be remembered when you come up.
i honestly think you are selfish, judgmental and brainwashed.
but you are happy and have everything you ever wanted.
i hope one day you feel remorse and understand what you did and who you lost,
not because i want you in my life or an apology,
but so you just stop blaming me.

person three
i'll always be your number one fan
as you've always been mine.
standing in your corner, rooting you on.
i'd buy you the world if it meant that you could stand between two posts and stop that black flying rubber disk.
you've always been a rebel, the funny one and the tallest.
you make me laugh, angry and cry from laughter.
i love your honesty, your courage and your crazy antics.
growing up, we weren't that close, but now that cannot be said.
we can talk for hours about anything and any topic.
you listen to me rant, give you history lessons and tell pointless-not-so-funny-stories.
you encourage me to chase my dreams, believe what i want and do what i want.
you love my cupcakes and think i have some creative talent.
i love being silly with you, its just so easy and feels so right.
you're one of my bests.
you're going far kid and i'll always be there to cheer you on.

person four
i truly can tell you anything
my thoughts, my feelings, my desires.
you don't judge me or make me feel stupid.
i talk to you everyday
and something feels off if i don't.
whether through text, msn, facebook messages or in person,
we always have a good time.
we laugh, we giggle, we have serious heart to hearts and we talk about random pointless things.
you are smart, funny and have one of the biggest hearts i know.
you are caring, a good listener and understanding.
i love that we are friends and that we have grown so close over the past few years, despite the distance, especially over the last year.
never doubt yourself, you can do whatever you want
and i'll always be here to pick you up if you fall.

person five
you make me happy, smile and feel giddy.
my heart likes you while my mind feels like its a waste.
thanks for making me feel alive again
and discovering what i like.
i hope you are happy, i really do.
she is very lucky to have you.
i want to get over you, but i see no end in sight.
we talk less now.
i think i am pulling away
you talk to me now as if i was a kid calling me names as if i was one.
you never used to do that...why now?
every time we speak, i try to find something i don't like
so i can focus on that
to make you leave my dreams and my thoughts.
just so you know, it hasn't worked.
you should stop doing things that my friends consider cute, it just confuses my little heart.
i hope time is nice to me.

person six
we talk all the time
and about most things.
i love your honesty and i wish i could be as honest with people as you.
we have similar interests and laugh at the same jokes.
you are easy to talk to, funny and understanding.
i wish sometimes we could be closer
but i have a hard time opening up to people all the time.
i hope in the future we can become even closer
and better friends
because you are pretty cool dude.

person seven
well, i owe you nothing.
i owe you no time, no love, no thoughts.
you left
and that was your decision.
its been a long time you know, and i am quite a bit older now.
i still look the same, a little taller.
and the past can never be forgotten.
much wiser, much older but still think the same.
it truly is your lose, and nothing can change what you did.
you may have brought a lot of pain and unwanted problems and events into my life,
but if you hadn't, i wouldn't be who i am and where i am today.
so thanks? no. that's not what i want to say.
thanks comes with niceness, and you will never receive niceness from me.
i really think you should give up already, its not fun.
and its not helping your situation anymore to continuously be rejected.
the sociologist in me always wants to know what it feels like on your end,
but i will never ask.
just give up, move on, like the rest of the world.

person eight
i love how we have defied our family
and are looking to change the ways
and to not be as lame as them.
i wish we were closer growing up
but life got in the way and i know you understand.
besides, we have our entire life ahead of us
to hang out, go on movie dates, talk and laugh together.
i still can't believe how much we have in common.
its amazing and i love it.
i can't wait for the future.
and i really hope we can live near each other
and our kids can play together and be close and stuff.
i am so excited for us, you'll always be my favourite.

person nine
you do so many things that i would never do
and its not good, especially when you don't see the problem in your actions.
its nice to have fun, but sometimes your fun is nuts.
you've brought a lot of conversation and gossip to my life.
it gives the world something to talk about
but its sad at the same time
and its not easy to tell you because you get angry.
i just don't get you.

person ten
you are older than me, but it doesn't feel like it.
plus you are pretty mini.
you are smart and tell me how it is, which is what i need.
we are so similar, yet so different.
we can do just about anything together and have a good time.
we like to piss each other off a lot though, its a game that's been happening for so long.
i can tell you anything and you take on a completely different perspective than anyone i know.
you accept me for who i am and have been a huge influence on me.
we have been to the moon and back together and memories that could complete a collection of books.
i am proud of you and can't wait to see what you do next.
the world better watch out for you.

person eleven
i miss you so much.
i wish you had never left.
you honestly made that year so much easier.
i loved when you picked me up from work and we'd walk home and talk.
i loved our trips to the mall and the first thursday of the month shoppers haul.
all our moments were awesome and i will never forget them.
i wished we talked more, but we are both busy with school and such.
i know you are having an awesome time at your new school
meeting people
and loving life.
you are such an amazing person and i hope we can always keep in touch.

that's all.
ray charles
x