are we getting closer, or are we just getting more lost?

Do you remember the first conversation you had with the last person you have feelings for?

not at all, been a few years

Do you dread certain days of the week?

mondays for sure oh man

What time did you go to sleep last night and why?

3.00 because i wasnt tired yet

Have you recently had plans with someone and they canceled?

yep

What does your phone do when you get a new message?

it makes an annoying noise

Have you ever liked someone older than you?

yep

Do you know your best friend's middle name?

yes =]

Do you think relationships are ever really worth it?

yea

Are you a bad influence?
not even

Have you ever kissed someone that was high?

naw

Have you lost friends in the past 3 years?

yea

Are you close to your father?

no

Are you happier now or three months ago?

ummm no school but other things so im okay i suppose

Do you like winter time?

yesss

Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette?

yepp

Do you like to hold hands?

i guess

Are you the type of person who likes to be out or home?

a balance of both

Do you miss your past?

not really

If you could run away to any place, where would you go?

europe

How often is your smile fake?

not often haha

Is there anything/ anyone you're losing faith in?

i already lost faith in some people

When was the last time you completely broke down?

no idea

Are you lying to yourself about something?

uhh no

What do you want for your birthday?

i don't know

Do you like pale or bright colors more?

bright colours

Have you ever been so hurt that you wanted to stop feeling completely?

yepp

Have you ever woke up in the middle of the night because of a bad dream?

yes

Do you have any friends that you consider to be family?

yupp =]

When was the last time you were laughing so hard you could barely breathe?

a few days ago

When is the next time you will kiss someone?

no idea

Are you probably going to get hurt anytime soon?

who knows. what type of question is that

Would you date someone right now if they asked?

a special someone, yus

Do you automatically check your phone when you wake up?

no

Ever kissed anyone that starts with a B?

nope

Are you a forgiving person?

sometimes

Would you rather be called honey or baby?

ummmmmm hmmm honey

Will tomorrow be a good day?

i hope so

When you're getting ready for something, do you listen to music?

yup

If you were kicked out of your current residence whom would you call?

friends, my own place

Have you done anything sneaky lately?

ha no

Have you broken the law in the past 3 days?

pshh naw

So, the person you like, their name starts with a B, doesn't it?

no

Do you shop at American Eagle?

nope

Do you have a hard time controlling your emotions?

yea sometimes

Did the one person who hurt you the most in your life apologize?

nope

Are you wasting your time on someone?

yes

Do you want to see someone this very minute?

yes

Missing anybody?

yea

Do you wear shoes in your house or take them off?

take them off

When was the last time you had a real smile on your face?

todayg

Is there something that has happened in your past that you really hate talking about?

not really

Did anything dramatic go down yesterday?

naw

When did you meet the last male you texted?

when he was born haha

Are you currently looking forward to anything?

kinda ya

Do you care too much/not at all/just enough?

just enough?

This time last year, can you remember who you liked?

no one

Will you be in a relationship next month?

not a chance

Do you remember who you liked three months ago?

yes

What is the last thing you did before bed last night?

turned off the tv

Is there someone who likes you?

not even

Is your profile private?

yea

Do you have feelings for anyone?

unfortunately

Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?

yupp

Did you kiss someone in 09 that meant a lot to you?

no

What’s something you really want right now?

yea few things

Have you ever worn the opposite sex’s clothing?

yupp

Do you think that someone is thinking about you right now?

no

Where was your default picture taken?

i dont know

Would you like your boyfriend/ girlfriend with long hair or short hair?

i like short

Has someone ever slapped your ass?

ugh yea haha

-ray charles

packing neverland away

its that time of year!
YES!
finished another year at acme looniversity!
so so so so exciting!
i am currently taking a break from packing
since i am moving back to gotham tomorrow night
which i am so excited for!
summer in gotham is amazing
my friends are my life
they make me smile, laugh and bring tremendous joy into my life
i am going to miss my neverlandian friends - my roomie j is one of the greatest people i know. thank jebus for texting and 5 hour phone calls. ill miss the ds and our lunches. aww. good times!
it feels amazing to be done another year for sure.
i finished on thursday night
and i was so giddy and excited!
i have gotten 3 marks back - B, A- and an A-
did i mention i do pretty well in school
yea well i do! haha

so summer!
lets see
plans!
-fun
-movie marathons
-movies
-parks
-chillen in backyards
-shopping
-working
-pictures
-birthdays
-tanning
-taking pictures of squirrels!
-random trips
most of all, no DRAMA!
i cannot wait to come home
i love it with my buddds
i am beyond ecstatic that i have found my group of friends that completely understand me and care about me just as much as i do them.
love is awesome!
friendship is pure amazing!

tonight i am going to dinner with j, sd and kd for our annual last supper end of the year adventure.
we are going to a thai restaurant. its so pretty in there
i am going to try to take some pictures while we are there
and then we will come back and watch up! and hang out
it will be hard to say goodbye
ive grown close to them and have had so many classes with both of them!
it will be fun though
and then tomorrow i have to help dano move and then GOTHAM!
until then lorelie, until then
(thats a lie, i will see you on msn probably haha)

love
-ray to the charles

its raining in neverland
☂

productive?

today should be productive
hahaha
but its not
i wrote an exam this morning
it went pretty well
two more!
yippeeeee
i was suppose to read over my notes for my two exams
but i started looking at my french ones
and are there are so many that i don't even want to bother
native is on wednesday and french thursday
and then i am getting my hair did after my exam on thursday
SO EXCITED!
chopping the beast off!
the need/want/love/obsession with cutting my hair has come pretty much from my hair being super long and i decided to make a drastic change after finding out some heart breaking news.
apparently that is a normal thing to do when someone finds shiznat like that out.
anyways, so excited.
ps. lorelie, i will skype so you don't have to wait 4 days to see it upon my return to gotham =]

so the weekend
not a disaster
but not the best either
it was so hard
i'm not sure how i am going to survive this summer.
lorelie, that's an in person convo only because you know me well enough that verbalizing my feelings is hard but using technological communication devices is even harder ie. msn and texting.
so we shall talk, don't you worry.
on another note
with this whole thing happening, of course i'm questioning the future.
of course i am questioning the time wasted (john lennon said "time you enjoy wasting was not wasted," but at this point mr lennon, i'd disagree).
of course i am questioning our time together and moments and such.
in all of this, i am even more confused about how i will go on just being his friend.
we are close, we see each other a lot and have similar personalities that click very well together.
he's the type of guy, hands down, no question about it, that i like.
its weird, in all of this i found who i like i suppose.
moral of the story, its made me question things and myself and how things will turn out.
re-evaluation i suppose.

on a similar note, i just saw one of the dumbest things on facebook i've seen in a while.
some girls photo album name is 'you're nobody till somebody loves you.'
seeing this, and thinking how ridiculous of an idea it was, i googled it.
its a song!
pretty sure i knew it but still.

here are the lyrics:
Dean Martin - You're Nobody Till Somebody Loves You
You're nobody 'til somebody loves you
You're nobody 'til somebody cares.
You may be king, you may possess the world and it's gold,
But gold won't bring you happiness when you're growing old.
The world still is the same, you never change it,
As sure as the stars shine above;
You're nobody 'til somebody loves you,
So find yourself somebody to love.
The world still is the same, you never change it,
As sure as the stars shine above;
You're nobody 'til somebody loves you,
So find yourself somebody, find yourself somebody,
Find yourself somebody to love.
(http://www.stlyrics.com/lyrics/swingers/yourenobodytillsomebodylovesyou.htm)
(yes it is about being more than just rich and famous in life and finding true happiness with love and such, which is the intention of the artist/writer. i'm focusing more on the idea of the title)

here's my take on this song which not only is a song, but it is a cultural norm, especially for females. it also have cultural and societal implications for male and female relations and gendered norms. its bullshit! not only does it normalize and perpetuate the assumption that you can't be happy unless you are in love and loved by someone meaning you are accepted by someone else, it sets people up for failure and a life of looking for someone rather than looking for yourself and finding who you are, what you are good at and what you like.
i'm not against love - don't get me wrong. i'd like to loved just as any other human being would love to have an emotional and intimate relationship, but to say i'm nothing without someone to love me? what, my ideas, my values, my mind, my thoughts and my knowledge do not define who i am? why do i need to be defined or in the case of the song, become a someone rather than a nobody when someone loves me? why is there a need for individuals to become defined in terms of someone else and their relationship with someone else (mainly females to boot)?
i am somebody. i am a beautiful individual with talents, with thoughts, with opinions and with strange habits, a good sense of humour and a brain. and love, as in intimate, emotional partnership love? not at this moment, but that does not mean i am nobody. when (and if) that happens, that person will compliment me. bring things into my life. but never define me or all of sudden, miraculously make me, who was once a nobody, into a somebody.
moral of the story? define yourself. be who you are and let yourself be that. know that you are distinctly beautiful and claim who you are. and most of all, be proud of that.
love compliments you. not creates you.
rant over? yes.
muhaha.

wrote my soc of gender this morning, and this, along with internalized racism, hegemonic masculinity, emphasized femininity, language of sex, racialized gendered discourse, gender biased language and masculinity and sex, is what we grappled with and was tested on today.
just gives you something to think about and consider about the world and society in which we reside.

now i need to decide what to do with my time. i could read over my native
OR
watch a movie and sleep.

i vote second option.

peace
raycharles ☮

My Heart Beneath Your Feet

I’m always coughing up my heart in front of you
It’s now become an unmanageable reflex
I’m choking and I can’t breathe and my trachea is swelling
My airways are contracting and filling with something that shouldn’t be there
And as soon as I see you my heart is melting and clawing its way back up
Scraping my vocal chords so I can no longer speak
Leaving me breathless and voiceless and heartless all at the same time
Completely at your mercy I place it on a silver platter and lay it at your feet
And I have no control over my own body anymore
As I just stand there in silence like a fool
Watching you stomp all over my heart
Unable to even mouth the words now scattered throughout my mind
And as you walk away you leave warm red footprints behind you
Traces that lead back to the person you’re unaware you’re holding hostage
Then once you’re out of sight I race to find that weak organ that keeps escaping
And then I struggle to shove it back down my throat
But I can’t stop coughing; it’s like it knows it doesn’t belong in me
It’s so weak that it knows it needs a new owner
An owner who won’t give it up to someone who doesn’t acknowledge it
Someone who has tougher skin and stronger ribs
Whose dreams are not impractical but rather simply safe
Because what heart wants to be trapped in a body
That can’t protect it and keeps sending it out into the line of fire
And instead when something good and real does come along
I am able to hold my breath for once and I continue to dream
Holding back from truly letting it beat and belong
Because I know I’d rather be coughing up organs
Than settling for someone who can’t control my heartbeat

+ Lorelie

Inspired by the song "Fuck Was I" by Jenny Owens Young.

tomorrow, tomorrow, i'll love you tomorrow?

tomorrow is a day that i have been waiting for

for eight months.

eight months of waiting

and i don't even want it to go.

i rather miss it.

i am praying i sleep in or something.

i am so nervous.

and i never get nervous.

it feels like the feeling before i wrote my first university exam

or the time i made a speach in class.

i have a knot in my tummy.

what is wrong with me!

i don't want to see him.

at all.

eight months ago i would trade anything to be where i am
(not only because i am practically done the school year and
soon to be moving back to gotham for the summer)

but because i would be seeing him again.

i wish i could go back to last summer.

being all giddy and flirty.

smiles and laughs.

and of course and most of all, still the possibility of him being interested in me.

but now, theres no way.

gahhhhhhhh.

it just sucks.

this is someone who i feel like i wont get over anytime soon

and will always be able to make my heart smile

and will be in my life for years to come.

tomorrow is going to suck to see him and talk to him.

i know i will fall all over again.

k lets not dwell on matters of the heart

i've been reading all week and im sick of it.

and im not done!

why school why!

i have to go back to neverland (the city i live eight months of the year

where i attend school...its a happening place.

unlike peterpan though, i age and my brain is concerned with more than

mermaids and the lost boys and captain hook) on sunday.

yippee.

not.

i have three exams next week.

monday, wednesday, thursday.

and then im DONE!

so excited.

soooooooo excited

haha.

well i should be off. i need to get up at six am tomorrow

i need sometime to make myself look presentable since i will be tired

and seeing him and others i haven't seen in a while.

wish me luck? please

-ray charles

Introducing Ray Charles & Lorelie!

Hello everyone! So this is Ray Charles and Lorelie, and this is our amazing blog together! We're bff's and decided we should do a blog together since we always talk to each other about everything in life. Here we will share our thoughts with you - sometimes together, sometimes individually. But it's just a way for us to get thoughts out of our heads so they don't explode! You can expect to read about our lives, friends, hockey, politics, prose and poetry, and rambling and ranting. Hope you enjoy it!

Below we each wrote something about the other so you can get to know us too!


So as one of my closest bff’s, Ray Charles (Rachelle) is pretty much amazing. I’ve known her since highschool and over the past few years our lives have eroded in ways, so we seem to fit together so well now...and I couldn’t have become closer with a better friend at a better time. She’s super smart and very studious, makes me look like a horrible student in comparison lol. She’s one of the most good-hearted and sincere people I know. She loves hockey too, so that makes her cool in my books. She’s into saving the world and is a communist at heart, and if Bloo from Foster’s existed, he’d be her imaginary friend fo sho. There is no better listener or advice-giver I know, and she’s always got my back. We have awesome conversations and it’s about time we share them with the world!


This is Ray Charles here, reporting on Lorelie. Lorelie is a really good friend of mine. She is warm hearted, funny and very smart. She likes long walks on the beach and dinner under a full moon. She enjoys writing and watching hockey. Okay, the part about the beach and the moon are not entirely true but thats okay. Lorelie is pure awesome - she loves politics and cares about the environment.
She is loyal and brightens up anyones day. She is a good listener and listens to me ramble about life. She makes me smile and helps me whenever I need it. She is a loveable, beautiful individual and everyone who encounters her is just plain lucky. She wants to change to world one day, and I believe in her.

Ps. she is not single though for all you men out there who may or may not be really creepy. Kyle Wellwood is her one and only man.


Come on down
Stop on by
Hop a carpet and fly...
To another Arabian niiiiiiiiiiight

Arabian nights
Like Arabian days
More often than not
Are hotter than hot
In a lot of good ways

Arabian nights
'Neath Arabian moons
A fool off his guard
Could fall and fall hard
Out there on the dunes

That’s right, we put Aladdin into our blog! Thanks for reading, tty soon <3