I'm such a fool. To be honest, I knew I was being foolish a while ago, but I am the impractical dreamer, it's what I do. So here's a little poetic rant about something happening in my life right now...I'm silly, I know.


** Fool's Heart **

I'm tired of dead ends
God knows I've been one for far too long
And God knows I've been hitting them for what feels like forever
But when I finally feel ready to stop going around in circles
There I am facing a dead end once again
It's like I've been sucker punched in the heart
I'm driving down a road and even though
I thought I saw a dead end sign
I just keep going, fooling myself and my heart
Blinded by make belief and impractical dreams
I'm a fool
And now I'm starring at nothing
Road blocked and surrounded by nothing
Only thing I can do is turn back, turn away, turn around
Travelling in reverse is what I'm used to by now
Maybe that's why I keep rethinking my past
I'm just afraid one day I'll run out of gas like a car does
Stuck in reverse until I just
Stop
I want so bad to change roads, change direction, change my fool's heart
I think about how I was never able to make it work
How I've been waiting for something that I've made into someone
I never knew you, it shouldn't be this hard
But it's like all my hopes just collapsed in an instant
I'm an unlucky fool with a weak heart
I'm a sucker for dreams and make belief
So while I'm shifting gears into reverse and pulling myself together
You're living your life as if nothing ever happened
Because that's exactly what did happen; nothing
I'm a fool
So let the dead sea water wash over my thoughts
Let it flush out any traces of anything relating to you
I want so badly to flood this road I keep going down
So I can swim across these dead ends and find my way to shore
I want so badly for a lighthouse to spot me in the dark murky waters of this trench
So I can be guided home to a place that wants me
I want so badly for a ship to come along and take me aboard
So I can be a part of something, be a first mate to my captain
But it's all impossible, because I'm still stuck on this road
I may be a strong swimmer, but it's useless when you're land locked
Knowing that I won't be with you will torment me for a little while
But I've learned which things are insignificant in life
So I'm backing up and I'm letting go
Because there was nothing there to hold on to
But I know I'll be staring at this familiar dead end again
I'm a fool