day sixty two

Day 62 - A picture of one of the best days of your life

hmm this is a hard one. but i am going to say when i was in italy. being there with my younger brother, who is one of the best people in my life, was amazing. we had so much fun together. one of my favourite moments was after their semi-finals game against usa and they won. i cant remember the score but it was an amazing game that adrian played stellar in. i was so proud at that moment of him and of who he was and the game in general. after he had changed we saw each other from about the middle of the rink to the doors. he walked, dropped his bag and we both pretty much ran to each other and just hugged and squeezed so hard. the only words spoken were congrats buddha! it was so exciting. it was awesome. the game was actually played on my moms birthday so after we won i texted HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM! LOVE FROM ITALIA. WE JUST BEAT THE AMERICANS. GOING FOR GOLD BABY!!!! even though it was an international text, it was well worth it. got a few texts from inliners telling me to congratulate our boys and bring home gold!

other best days would have been apple picking with my friends. no drama and lots of laughs. everyone needed it and i could feel it for sure. there was just happiness all around to be with people you love. it was probably the most memorable hang out ive had with that group in a few years just because of the need and desire to be together.

another really good day was a day i spent just with j. she is one of my best friends (even though neither of us call each other that because we dont like titles). we spent the day laughing and taking pictures. we dont get to do it often because of school and all the times she is involved with but it was nice just to be with her. it was actually a few days...the day before her birthday we chilled in my bed until like 4 am talking, then we went all around the city picking up stuff for our party, then the next day we did our christmas together and watched a movie and then the next day went to the park, went for an amazing lunch and then hung out together until i left. its going to be so hard to leave each other in four months.

another really really good day was when snoogies came over. i have become so close to her. we completely understand each other and can talk about anything. its hard for either of us to get close to others but after almost 7 years of knowing each other it finally happened! there was so much build up to seeing her too. talking on msn and texting every once and a while about how many days are left and how if we were in the same damn city the convo could be in person. how we had just a few more pages left to write which meant we were even closer to being together. she came over the second day i was home and it was amazing. it was so right and so fun!

my birthday this year my cousin took me to the zoo. we didnt grow up together because of family issues and stuff and yet, we are so similar and i love it so much. we originally were supposed to go to buffalo to shop but her car was acting funny so she texted me all sad and was like want to go to the zoo and i was like YES! she hadnt been in years and i hadnt either. we went some weird way to get there it was actually really funny. we went to every exhibit and walked around the zoo for like 6 hours! it was so much fun. i like knowing that i have her and that day was pure fun. we took amazing pictures and acted like little kids looking at all the animals ahah

theres a lot of other days i could talk about but i rather just leave you with these.

in the spirit of new years eve

WITH 2010 COMING TO AN END...

Have you had a good year?
it was really good, despite some hiccups

Kissed two people in the same night?
nope

Met someone special who changed your life?
umm yes

Slept in someone else's bed?
yea

Been called a bitch?
ha yea

Done something you regret?
naw

LOOKING BACK

January 2010
Who did you kiss on New Years? no one
Did you have a New Year's resolution? doubt it
How was the start of 2010? pretty good, started with school

February 2010
Who was your Valentine? j
When you were little did you buy Valentine's for the whole class? yes i did!

March 2010:
Are you Irish? nope
What was the best part of March? being done school although i was scared shitless to face what was at home

April 2010:
Do you like the rain? yes
Do you get tons of candy on Easter? sometimes
Did you "love" the month of April? umm not i didnt. i struggled to try to move on

May 2010
What is your favorite flower? roses
Do you celebrate May 24th? yes because its my boo boo kittys bday!
Is May anything special to you? its a time when i get to see all my inline friends. this year i didnt want to see one in particular.

June 2010
What did you do for Fathers Day? im pretty sure it involved an arena because its an ordinary day for me
Did you do anything fun during this month? i started working at my job

July 2010
What did you do on the 1st of July? i worked and then went a celebrated canada being born with some friends with the rest of the city
Do you tan in the day? sometimes
Did you go anywhere exciting throughout the month? no haha

August 2010:
Did you do anything special at the end of your summer? end of summer... i think my friends and i hung out...
What was your favorite memory of summer? hmmm all the hang outs and my zoo birthday
Did you have a sunburn? just on my cheeks
Did you swim in a pool a lot? naw

September 2010
Were you attending school? gahh yes
Do you like fall better than summer? yes
Anything special about September to you? back with j!

October 2010
What was your last Halloween costume? myself...AHH
What was your favorite thing about this month? thanksgiving weekend for sure

November 2010:
Whose house do you go to for Thanksgiving? home
What was your favorite thing about November? being done all my november work haha

December 2010
What are you thankful for? family and friends
What do you want this year? uhh money!

Where did you begin 2010? home

What was your relationship status on Valentine's Day? singled
Where did you go on vacation? no where
What concerts/shows did you go to? none

Describe your birthday: i went to the zoo with my cousin and my friends had a picnic for me
What has been your favorite moments? being with good people

What was your best month? august i think

What was your worst month? april, may, june, july. worst

Made new friends? yea

Favorite Night out? so many

Overall, how would you rate this year? theres been better, but it ended well

Been snowboarding? no

Are you happy to see 2010 go? dont care


Stayed single almost the whole year?
the entire year

Were involved in something you'll never forget?
yes

Tripped over a coffee table?
ha always

Dyed your hair?
nope

Came close to losing your life?
nope

Saw one of your favorite bands/artists live?
naw

201o: FRIENDS & ENEMIES

Did you meet any new friends this year?
yea

Did you hate anyone?
hating is for losers

Do you have any regrets when it comes to your friendships?
nope not at all

201o: YOUR BIRTHDAY!

Did you have a cake?
yes several oh man death

Did you have a party?
yes

Did you get any presents?
yes!

201o: ALL ABOUT YOU

Did you change at all this year?
yea i think so

Did you change your style?
naw

Were you in school?
yes

Did you own a car?
invisible

Did anyone close to you give birth?
like literally close? as in beside me? hahah no.

Did you go on any vacations?
nope

Would you change anything about yourself now?
yea, i want to be more confident with who i am and know that i have potential and that some day some man will love me and i will let him do so.

2010: WRAP UP

Was 2010 a good year?
yea

Do you think 2011 will top 2010?
im hoping

IN THE YEAR 2010 I CONFESS THAT I....

Kissed in the snow?
nope

Had your heart broken?
yes actually. shattered and he didnt even know it

Done something you've regretted?
i never told him

Painted a picture?
yes, several

Wrote a poem?
naw

Visited a foreign country?
i went to the states

Cut in a line of waiting people?
ha yea

Told someone you were busy when you weren't?
hahah yes

Lied about how old you were?
no..usually people dont believe me

IN 2010 I..

Broke a promise?
not that i know of

Lied?
ye

Disappointed someone close?
probably

Hid a secret?
everyday

Pretended to be happy?
yes

Slept under the stars?
i wish

Kept your new years resolution?
no

Forgot your new years resolution?
haha yes

Changed your outlook on life?
maybe a little

Sat home all day doing nothing?
hahah love it

Learned something new about yourself?
yep

Made a change in your life?
yes

Found out who your true friends were?
oh yes sir

Met great people?
yep

Stayed up til sunrise?
yea several times in the summer

Had friends who were drifting away from you?
yes

Had a high cell phone bill?
nope

Spent most of your money on food?
no

Gotten sick?
yea

Liked more than 5 people at the same time?
FIVE! woah, no

Became closer with a lot of people?
yes i did

Song that reminds you of summer 2010?
goldfinger and an offspring song

Lost any friends this year?
maybe

one more day eek
see you in 2011!!

ray charles

You Should Have Known

9 Lasts:

9.] last place you were: at the movies, saw Tron with my bro!
8.] last cigarette: eww gross!
7.] last beverage: water!
6.] last movie watched: Tron, i just said that!
5.] last phone call: My mom
4.] last song played: I've had the new Taylor Swift album on repeat haha
3.] last BUBBLE bath: Wow, maybe a few months ago? But I don't have any bubble bath.
2.] last time you cried: Hmm not sure.
1.] last tv show watched: THE BIG BANG THEORY when i got home from the movies lol.

8 have you evers:

8.] have you ever dated someone twice: no...almost, maybe, could have happened.
7.] have you ever been cheated on: I don't want to think so, but probably.
6.] have you ever kissed someone: Yep
5.] have you ever kissed someone you regret: Umm kind of...oh model UN parties haha.
4.] have you ever fallen in love: I don't think so. Never the "I would die for you I love you so much I can't live without you it hurts when you're gone" kind of love.
3.] have you ever lost someone: Yep, who hasn't these days.
2.] have you ever been depressed: Possibly.
1.] have you ever been drunk and thrown up: Story of my life...try getting to the toilet with a broken toe in the dark. Fun stuff.

7 famous people you’d like to hang out with:

7.] Jim Parsons (Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory)
6.] Kyle Wellwood
5.] Luke Schenn and Tyler Bozak (they're bbfl's so it's a package deal!)
4.] Taylor Swift
3.] Jack Layton
2.] David Bowie
1.] Dallas Green

6 things you’ve done today :

6.] Western Union transactions.
5.] Sold lottery tickets.
4.] Went to the movies.
3.] Ate pasta with chicken, yumm.
2.] Ate popcorn with chocolate covered raisins, yumm.
1.] Drove around to retrieve a scarf and got lost before getting bailed on.

5 people you can tell pretty much anything to:

5.] Ray Charles, duh!
4.] My friend Stephikins
3.] My bro
2.] My Mom and Dad, but I tell each different things I wouldn't tell the other lol
1.] My bbff (best best friend forever)

4 favorite colors:

4.] Blue
3.] Purple
2.] Green
1.] Grey

3 things you want to do before you die:

3.] Travel! Japan, across Canada (especially Vancouver), Finlans, Italy...
2.] Bring my songs to life, or at least one of them.
1.] Fall in love i suppose.

2 favorite ice cream flavors:

2.] Cappucino!
1.] Chocolate and peanut butter omggggz

1 job you wanted as a kid:

1.] When i was four i wanted to be a ballerina...in grade one i wanted to be a comedian, serously lol....in grade four i wanted to be an ecologist after a science project and then a politician after our mock elections.

+ Lorelie

Go Canada!!

Day 61 - A picture that makes your heart smile.

Any photo of a Canadian winning gold or standing on the podium makes my heart smile. The 2010 Vancouver Olympics were amazing, I have never been more proud to be a Canadian. When Jon Montgomery won gold and then drank a pitcher of beer as he walked through Vancouver, I was soooo happy! When Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir won gold I was estatic. When Joannie Rochette captured bronze after losing her mom a few days earlier, I wanted to cry but I was so happy that she won it for her. And when our boys and girls win gold in hockey, I couldn't be any happier.

I also love the Big Bang Theory and the cast are friends in real life too. They're so funny and ridiculous! I love them!

My room is filled with pictures of my friends, family and things I love. These photos make my heart smile too, so I surround myself with them all the time in my room.

So excited to spend new years with Ray Charles and our friends tomorrow night! I got strawberry champagne and iced cap martinis!

+ Lorelie

day sixty one

Day 61 - A picture that makes your heart smile

photos of turtles! especially sea turtles. they are so cute. i want one so bad haha

i also am a sucker for photos of old happy in love couples. old people who walk and hold hands is so cute. after all those years, there is still something that keeps them together and that is adorable and something that i hope that i can have and that all my friends can have it as well.

i am sitting here drinking an ice cap in my kitchen, yum yum. budds just shaved his man beard and he shaved it like hitler and made himself have long side burns haha. we took photos. funny little taller than me dude.

ray charles

we still believe in love

i am kind of bored and was looking for new blog ideas on the internet while watching ace of cakes
which is one of my favourite shows
and i came across this
i have nothing else to blog about so... haha

9 Lasts –

9.] last place you were: the arena, i am living there for four days
8.] last cigarette: never had one
7.] last beverage: coke
6.] last movie watched: tron
5.] last phone call: my brother
4.] last song played: favourite chords by the weakerthans
3.] last BUBBLE bath: no idea
2.] last time you cried: a convo i had on msn christmas night
1.] last tv show watched: ace of cakes

8 have you evers –

8.] have you ever dated someone twice: nope
7.] have you ever been cheated on: nope
6.] have you ever kissed someone: yep
5.] have you ever kissed someone you regret: no
4.] have you ever fallen in love: nope
3.] have you ever lost someone: yes
2.] have you ever been depressed: hmm probably
1.] have you ever been drunk and thrown up: yes to both


7 famous people you’d like to hang out with –

7.] paul walker
6.] brad pitt
5.] steve yzerman
4.] marty brodeur
3.] paul mcartney
2.] david sazuki
1.] trey parker

6 things you’ve done today –

6.] timekept
5.] opened presents with the family because my brothers girlfriend is here
4.] uploaded pictures to facebook and my computer
3.] ate manicotti
2.] watched tv
1.] i drew a sketch for my new project - silent bob plush

5 people you can tell pretty much anything to –

5.] snoogs
4.] j
3.] lorelli
2.] budds
1.] dano

4 favorite colors –

4.] purple
3.] green
2.] teal
1.] brown

3 things you want to do before you die –

3.] travel the world
2.] swim with some sea turtles and see them born
1.] fall in love

2 favorite ice cream flavors –

2.] vanilla
1.] cotton candy

1 job you wanted as a kid –

1.] interior designer

okay im done
raaaaaaaay charrrrrrrrles

Taylor Swift Lyrics Challenge!

So we all know I love Taylor Swift. She's super talented and an amazing writer, singer and performer. I relate to most of her songs. The first time I heard her talking about writing songs and what each song means, I was like "Whoa, that's kind of how I do it!" She has a similar method and thought process as me, and I find it so awesome that on her website she has a section where she writes about what each song means. A few of her songs have inspired some of my songs. It's relieving and nice to know someone else out there does this too, and probably many more people. So I'm not crazy haha. Anyway, I thought I'd do this Taylor Swift Lyrics Challenge!

1. Favorite lyric line from 'Tim McGraw'
"But when you think Tim McGraw, I hope you think my favourite song...when you think tim McGraw, I hope you think of me." I love the idea of how a song or a band/artist or anything really can remind you of someone.

2. Favorite lyric line from 'Our Song'
This is one of the songs I like the least. It's cute and fun, but I love her other songs more. My fave line would be "I grabbed a pen and an old napkin and I wrote down our song." Basically it's about how she wrote "their song" because no song out there felt like their song.

3. Favorite lyric line from 'Picture To Burn'
"So go and tell your friends that I'm obsessive and crazy, that's fine I'll tell mine that you're gay!" Bahahahahaha good break up song.

4. Favorite lyric line from 'Long Live'
"Long live the walls we crashed through, I had the time of my life with you." I can't wait to feel like this.

5. Favorite lyric line from 'Cold As You'
"And now that I'm sitting here thinking it through, I've never been anywhere cold as you."

6. Favorite lyric line from ‘Love Story’
"I got tired of waiting, wondering if you were ever coming around. My faith in you was fading, when I met you on the outskirts of town...Romeo save me, I've been feeling so alone. I keep waiting, for you but you never come.Is this in my head, I don't know what to think..."

I love this idea of waiting for your Romeo or Prince Charming, but he never comes and you feel like he never will...but by the end of the song he does come!

7. Favorite lyric line from ‘White Horse’
This is one of my favourite songs, it's really slow and sad, and I can relate.

"I honestly believed in you, holding on the days drag on. Stupid girl, I should have known, I should have known..."

"I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale, I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet, lead her up the stairwell. This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town. I was a dreamer before you went and let me down. Now it's too late for you and your white horse, to come around."

8. Favorite lyric line from ‘You Belong With Me’
This song is soooo cute. "If you could see that I'm the one who understands you, been here all along so why can't you see, you belong with me."

9. Favorite lyric line from ‘Fifteen’
This is a great song for young girls, I hope they understand the message. It's really hopeful and inspiring.

"Ive found that time can heal most anything, and you just might find who you're supposed to be. I didn't know who I was supposed to be at fifteen."

10. Favorite lyric line from ‘Should've Said No’
I love this song, really good break up songs, especially if you've been cheated on haha. she sings it with so much passion and feeling.

"Before you go, tell me this, was it worth it...Was she worth this? No... no no no..."

11. Favorite lyric line from 'You're Not Sorry'
This is possibly my all time favourite T-Swift song. I know I've listened to it like over 100 times lol. Basically it's about a jerkface boyfriend who keeps messing up and hurting you, and he always says sorry and expects things to work out...well guess what, we now know you're not really sorry, asshole. It sounds pretty tragic with the piano and instrumentals, and Taylor sings with a lot of feeling.

"Could've loved you all my life if you hadn't left me waiting in the cold. And you got your share of secrets, and I'm tired of being last to know."

"But you don't have to call anymore, I won't pick up the phone. This is the last straw, don't wanna hurt anymore. And you can tell me that you're sorry but I don't believe you baby like I did before. You're not sorry, no."

12. Favorite lyric line from 'Last Kiss'
This is one of my new fave songs, it's from her new album. It's so freaking sad. This is what Taylor says about this song, "You say all of these desperate, hopeless feelings that you have after a breakup. Going through a breakup you feel all of these different things. You feel anger, and you feel confusion, and frustration. Then there is the absolute sadness. The sadness of losing this person, losing all the memories, and the hopes you had for the future." I know what this is like, I've been there sort of.

"But now I'll go sit on the floor, wearing your clothes. All that I know is that I don't know how to be something you miss. I never thought we'd have a last kiss. Never imagined we'd end like this."

"So I'll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep. And I feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe. And I keep up with our old friends just to ask them how you are. Hope it's nice where you are."

"And something reminds you you wish you had stayed. You can plan for a change in weather and town, but I never planned on you changing your mind."

13. Favorite lyric line from ‘Mine’
This song is adorable. This is what Taylor says about the song:

"Lately I've had this bad habit of running away from love. Kind of getting to the place where it's about to commit, and then you just, like, run in the opposite direction. "Mine" is about the idea that I could find someone who would be the exception to that, someone who would be so sturdy and so much of a sure thing that I wouldn't run from it." - So I can completely relate to her, and I've written songs about relationships similar to this...even though I haven't experienced love or a guy who sticks around. I keep running away, but I want to find someone who will make my walls crumble.

"You learn my secrets and you figure out why I’m guarded. You say we’ll never make my parents’ mistakes." - expect for me, when I sing it I change it to "You say we'll never make my PAST mistakes," because that relates to be much better.

"And I remember that fight Two-thirty AM, As everything was slipping right out of our hands. I ran out crying and you followed me out into the street, braced myself for the goodbye cause that’s all I’ve ever known. Then you took me by surprise, you said I’ll never leave you alone." - Oh how I wish a guy would say that to me lol.

"You made a rebel of a careless man’s careful daughter. You are the best thing that’s ever been mine." - I want to feel this way about someone...sigh.

14. Favorite lyric line from ‘Back To December’
I feel like I can relate to this song in the way that you feel bad about letting a great guy go...but I didn't feel that much for him in the end, so it's not the same as what Taylor is singing about. Still a great song though. She thinks about going back to December (the month they broke up) and remembers it all. It sort of reminds me of the Tegan and Sara song "Call it Off."

"It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you. Wishing that I realized what I had when you were mine."

"You gave me all your love and all I gave you was Goodbye."

15. Favorite lyric line from 'Better than Revenge'
This song is super catchy. I think we all know girls like this, especially back in highschool. Finally Taylor lets her inner bitch out for the right reasons, and I'm loving it. It's such a different song, and I know I've written a few back in the day with similar meaning.

"She's not a saint, and she's not what you think. She's an actress, but she's better known for the things that she does on the mattress."

So, this song can be taken as a respsonse to a Jonas Brothers song...because it's about Joe Jonas who she dated, and he was dick apparently who dumped her and broke her heart. She wrote "Forever and Always" about him, so then he wrote a song in response about how his new girlfriend is "so much better" than Taylor. Well, this is what Taylor has to say now:

"Come on show me how much better you are. So you deserve some applause cause you're so much better. She took him faster than you could say sabotage."

16. Favorite lyric line from 'Enchanted'
This song is about meeting somone for the first time, and it's kind of like love at first sight where you like them immediately and hope they don't have a girlfriend lol.

"Please don't be in love with someone else. Please don't have somebody waiting on you."

17. Favorite lyric line from 'The Story Of Us'
"I used to think one day we'd tell the story of us, how we met and the sparks flew instantly. People would say they're the lucky ones."

"Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room and we're not speaking, and I'm dying to know is it killing you like it's killing me. I don't know what to say, it's a twist of fate when it all broke down. And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now."

18. Favorite song lyrics of a Taylor Swift song overall.
My favourite songs would be You're Not Sorry, Mine, Love Story, White Horse, Should've Said No, and Last Kiss. Oh and FOREVER & ALWAYS! This is the ultimate break up song, and I can really relate. I love this song.

"Was I out of line? Did I say something way too honest? Made you run and hide like a scared little boy. I looked into your eyes, thought I knew for a minute, now I'm not so sure. So here's to everything coming down to nothing, here's to silence that cuts me to the core. Where is this going? Thought I knew for a minute, but I don't anymore."

"And I stare at the phone, he still hasn't called, and then you feel so low you can't feel nothing at all. And you flashback to when he said forever and always."

20. Favorite Taylor Swift quote and its influence on your life.
This is what Taylor said for her last album in 2008 titled "Fearless," it pretty much sums everything up.

"FEARLESS" is not the absence of fear. It's not being completely unafraid. To me, FEARLESS is having fears. FEARLESS is having doubts. Lots of them. To me, FEARLESS is living in spite of those things that scare you to death. FEARLESS is falling madly in love again, even though you've been hurt before. FEARLESS is walking into your freshmen year of high school at fifteen. FEARLESS is getting back up and fighting for what you want over and over again … even though every time you've tried before, you've lost. It's FEARLESS to have that someday things will change. FEARLESS is having the courage to say goodbye to someone who only hurts you, even if you can't breathe without them. I think it's FEARLESS to fall for your best friend, even though he's in love with someone else. And when someone apologizes to you enough times for things they'll never stop doing, I think it's FEARLESS to top believing them. It's FEARLESS to say, "you're NOT sorry", and walk away. I think loving someone despite what people think is FEARLESS. I think allowing yourself to cry on the bathroom floor is FEARLESS. Letting go is FEARLESS. Then, moving on and being alright … That's FEARLESS too. But no matter what love throws at you, you have to believe in it. You have to believe in love stories and prince charmings and happily ever after. That's why I write these songs. Because I think love is FEARLESS. "

+ Lorelie - "Stop caving into your weak heart."

day sixty

Day 60 - A picture that makes your heart hurt

i guess it would be photos of poverty anywhere in the world but especially that close to home. its hard to see the faces of poverty and to know those are people just like me, with beliefs, ideas and histories and ambitions. its really difficult to see children who are innocent but their lives have changed because of poverty and they have a long road ahead of them.

more personal photos that make my heart hurt sometimes are of photos of friends together, doing friend things and being happy. knowing that things are not like that anymore sometimes is hard to swallow and often makes me long for that world of being oblivious to who those people would become and who i would become as well.

for me, photos are really personal and have so much meaning. i can see a picture and remember how i felt, what i was doing and it brings in new feelings. often, i do wish i could go back there. i think thats why i take so many photos of everything. i want to remember everything i possibly can, and things i can't remember, i want to be able to find in a photo that will help me remember.

on another note, i've been thinking about a certain person a lot lately. i dont know why the hell i am. i'm hoping its part of the end process of getting over him. he is still amazing, but it is time to move on.

ray charles

ps. three more entries. crazy. what will we do when this is finished?

I don't know how to be something you miss

Oh man I had the weirdest dream last night! This is what I remember:

- I had been dating a guy (I want to say it was Wellwood lol) but we broke up, and we were friends though...and we were hanging out with a bunch of people, and The Dean Blundell show was there too. And then my ex boyfriend was dating some new girl apparently, and I met her and we were all hanging out, and I felt so awful. I remember we were at like a dinner party and I just sat there staring at my food because it hurt too much to look at him, and I didn't say anything but I was worried they would notice how quiet I was and figure out I felt uncomfortable.

- I remember he told her he had to buy a new toothbrush holder since she was moving in with him and that meant two toothbrushes lol, and I was really upset.

- The Canadian World Junior Team was outside my house getting ready for a game and I went outside to talk to them and try to move on from my old boyfriend. And apparently some of the players were my friends lol.

- I was at some huge stadium with tons of people in the stands and the Leafs were coming on to the ice (I don't know what happened to the Canadian World Junior team lol).


Day 60 - A picture that makes your heart hurt.

Well any picture of a horrible disaster like the earth quake in Haiti last year, or of people struggling to survive in awful conditions or war, pictures of poverty or malnourished kids, of animals being tortured or abused (i used to do petitions and stuff for PETA)...really any picture that you think is sad or anything you wish you could change. I hate that people and animals in the world are going through horrible events and have to struggle to survive. I wish I could do more. I always remind myself of this whenever I feel like my life sucks or I'm having a bad day, because someone else out there has it ten times worse.

Below or two photos that also make my heart hurt. The first is a gesture drawing from Deviant Art, the second is a post secret.

The other night I was watching an episode of "The Passionate Eye" on the tsunami in Thailand in 2004, and I just wanted to cry. As poweful as images are, words and songs also have the same effect. I have a list of "melancholy music" in my itunes, I love sad songs.

+ Lorelie

day fifty nine

Day 59 - A picture of a time when everything was changing.

the end of high school - no longer was in the safe, secure place of high school with the people i had grown up with. i had finished school, i was 17 and thought i knew everything about the world, looking forward, with fear and excitement to the future.


first year - new city, new school, new work load and new friends. i met a lot of people, some worth keeping as friends, others not so much. there was also the aspect of being on my own for the first time ever which was scary yet fun because rules are lame. lots also changed at the end of first year which would completely changed my life and for the better for sure.

that's all for that question. i am currently finishing up my brothers girlfriends christmas gift. she is flying back home tonight from up north. pretty excited to give her the gifts. she will like.

i am so tired. i also want to see my friends so i can use my new camera!!! wooo

ray charles

You can plan for a change in weather and time, but I never planned on you changing your mind

Day 59 - A picture of a time when everything was changing.

First year university. I can't think of any other time where everything changed more than it did between September 2007 and the summer of 2008. Of course a lot has changed each year since then, epseically the past two years, but beginning university is what began all the changes.

Starting university is a big thing in itself, but a lot of other things happened. Many of my best friends moved away to go to school, so it was hard not having them around to hang out. Commuting to school and the different type of schdeule was tough. The school work and classes were different. I didn't see my best friend as much since she started dating her boyfriend that summer, and a lot of tension was forming between us. I lost a friend that November. Everything was changing and I don't like change.

I'm happy that I met some awesome people at university and I still had my family too, so it wasn't horrible. Change is hard and sometimes you need to man up and accept it. Looking back I did have fun first year too, and these are the changes everyone goes through in their life.

Anyways, Team Canada is playing the Czech Republic now! GO CANADA!! I'm also super excited for new years eve!

+ Lorelie

day fifty eight

Day 58 - A picture that describes how you'd like to spend everyday



with friends, having a good time

ray charles

She took him faster than you could say Sabotage

Day 58 - A picture that describes how you'd like to spend every day.

I guess it depends which season it is. Right now I just want to ski all day and party with my friends! The day we spent in the Fall together was so much fun. I wish I could do fun things with my friends all the time. I wish I could go to hockey games all the time too (I really want Leafs season tickets!), and of course the Leafs or Team Canada would win every game lol. I also wish I could go to concerts of my favourite bands every day haha.

But most days I'm just happy sleeping in and being lazy with nothing to do. I love being a bum at home and relaxing with no worries lol.

I went skiing today and my toe kind of hurts now. I guess even though it's healed it's still not 100%, oh well, just got to get it back into shape!

I'm loving Taylor Swift's new album, the song "Better than Revenge" is my favourite so far because it's catchy and more rock than country or pop, which is a nice change for her. It also totally reminds me of a few songs I wrote back in highschool lol. It's about skanky lying girls who like to mess with us. You tell her Taylor!

ps. Day 63 is the last day, which is January 1st!

+ Lorelie

Christmas Gifts

1. Do you believe in Santa Claus?
Nope, not since I was seven. This is how I found out Santa wasn’t real: I was snooping for presents in my parents’ closet and found a Sailor Moon board game. Then for Christmas, apparently Santa gave me that Sailor Moon board game since the gift tag said “From Santa” lol.

2. What are your favourite colors to wear?
I own so much in blue, it’s definitely my favourite colour to wear. I also love grey, purple, green and black. I dislike red and orange the most.

3. What are your favourite colors to decorate with?
For Christmas, red, green and gold and silver or sparkles!

4. Where do you shop most for clothes?
Urban Outfitters, Old Navy, Forever 21, and stores like Smart Set and Suzy Shier for my model UN attire.

5. What items would you like Santa to drop off to you this year?
Well, I asked my parents for a few things which I got: Taylor Swift’s new cd, Marina & the Diamonds cd, chocolate, I picked out some clothes and a new pretty calendar.

I really wanted new skis, but they’re too expensive right now and I already got a new winter coat. I would have loved an Xbox or a Wii and some games lol.

6. Do you have any hobbies? If so, what are they?
Skiing! I’m going skiing tomorrow too! I love watching and talking hockey, I even blog about it sometimes. Eating chocolate. Baking. Making things and drawing. WRITING, duh. Does model UN count as a hobbie? Sleeping too.

7. What is the coolest gift you have gotten in the last few years?
Hmm. I usually pick things out for myself for Christmas, it’s just easier that way lol. Last year I did get new pretty girls’ ski poles that are white, black and purple with a leaf pattern!

8. Do you prefer practical gifts, or decorative gifts, or just straight out toys?
Well, it depends what I need. I like gifts I can actually use. I do like candles and I do burn them haha, I like notebooks and crafty things. I like picture frames but not at the moment since I have no room for any new ones. I’m kind of picky, so for personal things I like to pick them out myself. Can’t go wrong with cute socks or dvds I suppose.

9. How much are you spending on your friends this year?
Same as Ray Charles, I bought felt, glitter fabric paint and cotton balls for stuffing haha. The thread I already had, and the gems and ribbon I bought at Halloween. So the gifts were inexpensive, but I spent a lot of time making the ornaments.

10. If you gift someone, do you expect them to gift back?
It depends. I usually discuss whether we’re exchanging gifts with my friends, so I usually would expect something in those situations. Otherwise I don’t really know and I don’t mind if I don’t get something, unless I spent a lot on them and it was obvious we’d be doing gifts.

11. If someone gifts you, do you then feel obligated to scramble around & get something for them?
I don’t think this has ever happened to me. Well, my best friend’s boyfriend got me a book for Christmas like two years ago, and I didn’t get him anything and felt bad, but I had no idea he was getting me something. If it ever did happen to me I would definitely feel bad and would get them something or make/bake them something.

12. How do you feel about gift certificates?
I like gift cards, I rarely get them anymore. But they’re not very creative so I’d rather a good friend not spend the money on me and put some thought into a gift or make me something.

13. If your birthday is near Christmas, how do you feel it would be fair for people to gift you?
Christmas is actually my half birthday! (six months from June 25th lol). If my birthday were on or near Christmas, I would expect double the gifts.

14. What is the most embarrassing gift you ever received?
Bahahaha I don’t even know.

15. What media icons do you like? Betty Boop, Snoopy, etc.
I like SpongeBob, I used to own everything SpongeBob. I’ve sort of grown out of that phase, there’ not many I care for now. I used to love little anime characters like Hello Kitty and her friends, and Sailor Moon stuff. I love south Park! I actually don't even own anything from South Park.

16. What do you hope people DON’T get for you this year?
Socks and pajamas, and I got both lol.

17. Do you like massages, makeovers, spa gift certificates?
I’ve never been to a spa before. I think I wouldn’t want a massage, I’d feel to awkward. I’d like to get my nails done maybe or possibly a facial.

18. If someone gives you a really crappy gift, do you resent them for it?
I agree with what Ray Charles said. I’ve thought “do they not know me at all” a few times before lol. I don’t resent anyone, I just don’t understand the gift.

19. Do you ever re-gift?
I don’t thin I ever have. I would maybe re-gift chocolate or something like that.

20. Would you prefer if people just plain asked you what you want for Christmas?
YES! My parents make me write a list every year because I am sort of hard to shop for. My mom usually picks a few things out, like a sweater or pajamas. I usually just buy things and give them to my mom to give to me haha, or we go shopping and I pick things out. As for friends, I guess telling them what I want would be easier, but I’d hope they would know me well enough to pick out a good gift for me, or they could make/bake me something.

+ Lorelie

We've got out obsessions

Day 57 - A picture of how you'd like the world to see you.

Ok get ready, this may be another long answer. So, what’s interesting about this question is that different people see me differently. I know the people I work with and my work friends probably see me somewhat differently than the way my friends see me. Today was actually my first day back at work in like two months, it was so good to see my friends again! Plus it wasn’t even that busy which is always nice. My work friends/bosses/people I work with see me as responsible and nice and smart. I think the glasses help with the whole smart thing lol. And when I tell people what I’m studying and where I go to school, they think I’m smart as well, which is good because people don’t usually think cashiers are smart. The younger girls ask me for advice sometimes, and they like when I’m supervising because I’m laid-back and fun haha. Obviously my friends see me differently because I don’t work with them and it’s just a different relationship. I’m sure my family sees me differently than how my friends see me too.

So when it comes to how I want the world to see me, I have a few ideas. I like how most people see me now, I’m very lucky that I’m loved and appreciated and respected. But sometimes I wish people did see me differently. First, I wish more people would see me as intelligent. I used to be called a “brainer” in elementary school, and I was usually thought of as pretty smart throughout highschool. But ever since maybe grade 12 I feel like I’m not given enough credit. I feel like some people think they know so much about certain things and apparently I’m completely ignorant or something. I hate when people treat me like I’m dumb or ignorant. I’m studying political science and environmental policy, I read the news almost every day, I’m in model United Nations, I know a lot about the NHL and hockey, I’ve learned so much about different topics in all the different classes I’ve taken. So trust me, I know what I’m talking about and I fucking know what you’re talking about too. I’m used to being the “smart one” because I always was growing up, so it’s just very important for me to be seen as smart now that I’m older.

The second thing, I don’t know if I can explain properly. Maybe the best way to put it is that I wish people saw me as a “writer.” I’ve been writing my entire life, and I started taking it seriously in highschool. Since second year I’ve been using Deviant Art to learn more through reading the work of other writers and pushing myself to write better and try new styles and methods. I’m taking a creative writing class now that I’ve been waiting three years to take. But I still feel like if I didn’t actually tell people that I write and show them my work, they wouldn’t care or believe me. I don’t think I get enough credit or whatever for all the writing I do and how much I love writing and care about it. Sure I don’t read that many books, but I’m always reading poetry and prose stuff online. Maybe it’s because I’ve never really shared my stuff with people in my life, but I’m trying. I just wish people would see me as creative and talented and as a good writer who has a lot to offer.

The last thing is I wish people saw me as pretty and beautiful as I try to see myself. I don’t know how people see me or if guys think I’m pretty, I don’t know. And I mean this in the least vain and least shallow way, but I think I’m pretty. It just doesn’t seem to show in real life. I don’t know if this even makes sense lol. When I’m in my room doing my make up or even taking my make up off, and I see me for me up close, I think I’m prettier than all those uggo fake faces and slutty girls. I wish guys would think that I’m pretty and confident just as I am, and that it’s cool how I don’t dress a certain way...and that just because I’m covered up and not a skank, or that I wear glasses, it doesn’t mean I’m not pretty. Again, I don’t know what this is really about, it’s just something I’ve always thought about lol.


Anyway, I'm going SKIING TOMORROW!! I'm so excited. This is another thing, I wish people saw me as someone who is ok at sports. I know I'm not great or even all that good, but I love playing sports and I'm really enthusiastic. I'm also a fucking amazing skiier, like I've been skiing since I was four. So I'm not awful at sports ok! lol

+ Lorelie

day fifty seven

Day 57 - A picture of how you'd like the world to see you

happy, smart, funny and confident
thats how i'd want the world to see me
which i think most people already see me like that
most people see me as really smart and thats all
which is annoying only because im not just smart
oh well

today is boxing day
i need to go to blockbuster and get a gift for my brothers gf but im so lazy haha

i also need to do all the shit for grad school and i work all week... poop oh well i like monies
all ya'll friends, keep me company with texts!

ray charles

merry christmas baby

1. Do you believe in Santa Claus?
— he must be real, who eats all the cookies and drinks the milk? plus, i keep getting coal for christmas

2. What are your favorite colors to wear?
— i would say i like wearing black, for some reason its comforting

3. What are your favorite colors to decorate with?
— depends. i love turquoise a lot and greens. browns and blacks as accents. but for christmas, i would go with the classic green and red

4. Where do you shop most for clothes?
— old navy because i like cardis and i get some good deals there. plus, when i got my new job i needed professional clothes and there was a massive sale, which meant i came home with lots of clothes which i still wear now

5. What items would you like Santa to drop off to you this year?
— christmas was technically yesterday, so. i was craving lindor hardcore hahahaha

6. Do you have any hobbies? If so, what are they?
— painting and crafting anyway possible. i also love sleeping. what does this have to do with christmas?

7. What is the coolest gift you have gotten in the last few years?
— a wii and a camera! there's been other cool things. like my older brother got me more felt then anyone could ever need and my younger brother got me this funny south park thing that comes with a bracelet that says WWBD = what would butters do ahahha

8. Do you prefer practical gifts, or decorative gifts, or just straight out toys?
— depends. i am not hard to buy for once you know me. its more of whether i have it or not because i have so much shit. i like stuff that i can use but i also like decorative things like frames (honestly anything with photos is a good gift) and i like pillows and blankets and stuff. my cousin got me handmade cupcake candles! so cute. i will probably never burn them but they are precious

9. How much are you spending on your friends this year?
— i only bought a gift for my roomie j. i spent...$50 ish. i bought her a tea pot and a usb stick thing but its a combined gift because its her birthday and christmas gift so its not really that much. for my friends from home i made them felt monsters. the felt was like $2 and the stuffing was maybe $3. i didn't use $2 worth of felt on any of them and the bags of stuffing are ginormous so they were pretty cheap haha.

10. If you gift someone, do you expect them to gift back?
—no not at all. i would say it puts them in an awkward situation for sure but i know some people don't have funds and are not creative. i don't get offended

11. If someone gifts you, do you then feel obligated to scramble around & get something for them?
— no. i don't think i have ever gotten a gift from someone where i didn't have something for them. but i can see myself being like ahhh especially if they think you are worth getting something for and you don't think they are haha

12. How do you feel about gift certificates?
— i like them most of the time. sometimes though from a really really good friend its weird to get one when you've put so much thought into their gift and you get this movie certificate which takes walking into a grocery store or a shoppers to get one since they can be bought almost anywhere now. but i love them otherwise. movie ones are awesome and so are grocery and chapters ones. they get used, the person contributes in a practical way to your life, i say gift well received.

13. If your birthday is near Christmas, how do you feel it would be fair for people to gift you?
— mine is in august so i have no trouble. i know several people who have their birthday around christmas and i know their gifts aren't combined. j's from me is only combined because we don't see each other near christmas. if we lived in the same city, i'd give them separately for sure

14. What is the most embarrassing gift you ever received?
— hmmm i guess underwear? i don't think its embarrassing but since i have two brothers, opening a gift and its underwear is kind of weird haha

15. What media icons do you like? Betty Boop, Snoopy, etc.
— umm i like lots. spongebob is up there in my favourites. i actually got a spongebob chia pet!

16. What do you hope people DON’T get for you this year?
— um i was hoping i didn't get.... makeup. i have enough and i don't use it so it seems like a waste for me. also black nail polish. i've gotten it the last 3 years! and i haven't even finished one bottle yet. oh well haha

17. Do you like massages, makeovers, spa gift certificates?
— no. i rather something else. i've never had a massage, any time a male or my mom has massaged my shoulders, it either hurts or tickles. i don't think thats supposed to happen. i think i'm just awkward like that

18. If someone gives you a really crappy gift, do you resent them for it?
— depends again. if they give me something that i would never like or buy or whatever i usually wonder why the hell they got it for me and wonder if they even know me. then i usually wonder how i am going to use it to make them not think or notice i don't really like their gift. gifting is so complicated, i don't like being rude

19. Do you ever regift?
— no i haven't. maybe chocolate because people insist on giving me peanut butter and nut shit. but i don't think chocolate has any gift thought in it so thats no really regifting

20. Would you prefer if people just plain asked you what you want for Christmas?
— my mom does. and i can never think of anything. i am not good when i a put on the spot for things which is annoying. ask me my favourite movie and i can't remember movies. its weird. but i do like when someone asks, just because sometimes there is something i really really really want so. but the worst is when they expect you to want something. like this christmas, all i wanted was clothes, a camera and a hair dryer. apparently that wasn't enough of a list haha

i just ate a kinder surprise from santa
what a shit toy! fail

anyways, merry christmas to all and to all a goodnight!

ray charles

day fifty six

Day 56 - A picture with someone you love.

i could post a billion here!

oh yea buon natale!
woo i got a new camera and sewing stuff and felt and new brushes and some movies.
good christmas, mommy is making turkey now
yummm

ps. i think theres a week left of this. isn't that sad?

ray charles

Christmasss

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

Day 56 - A picture with someone you love.

So I have soooo many pictures with people I love, friends and family. I've already taken some today for Christmas with my family, and I took some with my friends earlier this week. It is Christmas after all lol.

I'm uploading songs from the cd's I got today! Marina & the Diamonds and Taylor Swift's new cd! My Limewire won't work so I'm happy I got my music finally!

So much chocolate ahahahaha!

+ Lorelie

day schfity five

Day 55 - A picture of yourself that you hate.

i am currently blow drying my hair
getting ready to go to my nonas
now i am straightening my hair

anyways, i probably hate a lot of pictures haha
i am way to particular with photos
like last night for instance, its not that i hate the photos, they aren't my favourite. my skin looked a blotchy and weird
i dont know if it was the colouring where i was or the camera or me haha
i usually hate photos where i am talking or where i'm laughing
if i make a silly face on purpose, i can't really hate it considering i made that face
im not a fan of pictures where im not smiling either, my non-smiling face is weird

anyhoo, today is christmas eve, family time!
ray charles

They call me back door Santa

Day 55 - A picture of yourself that you hate.

Hmm, I don’t know if there are any I hate because I just delete them on the camera if I don’t like them haha. There are some uggo ones of me on facebook I’ve untagged myself from though lol. Oh, I REALLY HATE my grade 7 school picture, I look awful. My hair is all fuzzy and nasty and I’m such an awkward pre-pubescent kid, it’s so brutal. My good friend (who is also Ray Charles' good friend) has this photo, and she busts it out every so often to make fun of me, but I have some old ones of her too lol. I also despise my grade 9 and 10 photos, thank God I found a flat iron in grade 11 lol.

Merry Christmas Eve! I'm going to visit my neighbours and give their kids gifts soon...their kitty is sitting on the fence outside in the snow lol.

"They call me back door Santa...I keep the little girls happy when the boys go out to play...Ho ho ho ho hey hey hey hey!" - Bon Jovi Christmas song bahahaha! Love it.

Fifty Four

I have many pictures of myself that I like I guess, most of them are my facebook profile pictures or in frames in my room. I took some tonight with Ray Charles and our other friends that I like too. I find that I don’t look good in school photos or photos where I’m posed, so I’m not looking forward to grad photos. But when I’m just being myself and with friends I look normal and happy and I can just pose better and more comfortably haha. I take tips from those “Next Top Model” shows about how to pose and practicing in the mirror to learn your best angles lol.

Tomorrow's Christmas Eve! Yay! I'm so happy to be done with school work right now, but I checked my work schedule and I pretty much only have Monday and New Years day off, boo. Oh well, I haven't worked in two months and I need money lol.

+ Lorelie

day fifty four

Day 54 - A picture of yourself that you like

i don't like most pictures of me
but im usually okay with photos i am smiling in and that are mostly the top half of me.
i also like when my eyes are open haha

tomorrow is christmas eve.
so exciting!

ray charles

day fifty three

Day 53 - A picture of you in a swimsuit.

yea this doesn't happen often...like ever
pictures of me in a swimsuit would be when i was younger.
like probably until i was 8
i was cute then

ray charles

It's Christmas time and we' ve got the spirit!

Day 53 - A picture of you in a swimsuit.

Oh boy hahahaha. I have a few of me in a swimsuit, but none i really like all that much. However, there's one i actually like that i had as a facebook profile pic a few years ago. It was taken at my friend's cottage back in 2007, and i'm in a swimusit and my hair is all crazy curl from the beach!

I made Christmas cookies this afternoon, and now I really need to finish this model UN paper on the rights of ethnic miorities. I have no idea what I'm even supposed to incude exactly, so I'm just chosing case studies relevant to the countries in my committee. I'm getting really angsty about this other conference I'm going to at the end of January because i want to know if i'm in the NHL committee i applied for and if i got the Leafs as my team. Oh and next week i'm hoping to meet Luke Schenn at a Leafs Q&A and autograph session!! SO excited!

ps. Run-DMC Christmas songs are love.

+ Lorelie

day fifty two

Day 52 - A picture when you were a different person than you are now.

well i would say any picture before the end of second year
but since i can't compare my wee self to now
i would say grade 12, first year and second year those photos are of a different ray charles
i would say the difference was i knew little and i grew up a lot. i found who i really was and who i really wanted to be.

that is all!

i've only pricked my finger once so far today
pretty good!

ray charles

I got a postcard from my former self asking "How have you been?"

Day 52 - A picture when you were a different person than you are now.

Every picture I have I’m a different person. I think that I’m not the same person I was in highschool, or last year, last month or even yesterday. I’m constantly analyzing myself, my life, and my thoughts, and my life philosophies are always changing, even if they’re just small changes. I’m most certainly not as naive and innocent as I was four years ago in grade 12. I am still the same person and I still hold many of the same beliefs I have most of my life, but they’re always evolving and growing. I can even notice changes in my writing, my songs from grade ten or so completely different then stuff I write now. And stuff I write now is different from what I wrote last year. I know myself too well, and maybe I’m a little crazy lol, but I also know I don’t really know exactly what I want and that also seems to change.

But right now I’m a person who is officially half way through her last year of university! Four more fucking months!!

*********************************************************

BRIGHT EYES has a new album coming out in February! And they're actually coming to Toronto March 13th! AHHHHHHHH I'M SO EXCITED! I thought I'd never get to see Conor Oberst live! So I think me and my bff are going to go see them. This is my favourite song by Bright Eyes, called Lime Tree, and it's probably one of my top five favourite songs ever. The lyrics are brilliant and honest and I am in love with this song. I know all the words off by heart.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A7oQbAX2Row&feature=related

I keep floating down the river but the ocean never comes
Since the operation I heard you're breathing just for one
Now everything is imaginary, especially what you love
You left another message said it's done,
It's done

When I hear beautiful music it's always from another time
Old friends I never visit, I remember what they're like
Standing on a doorstep full of nervous butterflies
Waiting to be asked to come inside
Just come inside

But I keep going out
I can't sleep next to a stranger when I'm coming down
It's 8 a.m. my heart is beating too loud
Too loud
Don't be so amazing or I'll miss you too much
I felt something that I had never touched

Everything gets smaller now the further that I go
Towards the mouth and the reunion of the Known and the Unknown
Consider yourself lucky if you think of it as home
You can move mountains with your misery if you don't
If you don't

It comes to me in fragments, even those still split in two
Under the leaves of that old Lime Tree I stood examining the fruit
Some were ripe and some were rotten, I felt nauseous with the truth
There will never be a time more opportune

So I just won't be late
The window closes, shock rolls over in a tidal wave
And all the color drains out of the frame
So pleased with a daydream that now living is no good
I took off my shoes and walked into the woods
I felt lost and found with every step I took

+ Lorelie

day fifty one

Day 51 - A picture you had no idea was being taken.

there are lots of pictures
they don't usually turn out well because they are either taken when im talking or laughing and apparently i don't make attractive faces when i laugh or talk
i actually love random photos because they are more natural
i have lots of those of my friends but i don't look good in ones my friends take haha

anyhoo thats all. today i saw tron with my cousin and her boyfriend
WHO PAID FOR ME and wouldn't let me hold a door open for him
helloooo where did she find him
i haven't decided if this guy is attractive
he was the main character
i thought he was old but he was born in 1984 so he's only 5 years older than me which is acceptable
okay he's cute
if i knew him in person, i would be like hello sir haha

last night i had one of those dreams that felt so weird. i was married at a guy named mike who was tall, dark and handsome. he had blue eyes and was a firefighter. we were trying to go christmas shopping but there was balloons in the garage. and we were fighting for some reason. so we get out of the car to move the balloons that were shaped like penguins and i didn't want to lose them so i brought them inside and when i went to the door i saw one of our children who had just waken up. it was a boy and he was so cute! he had a soother in his mouth and i was like hello baby! hi hunny good morning! and then my husband was getting annoyed because he wanted to leave so i put the baby back into his room with my mom i believe and we left in the car. and it was so tense and i grabbed his hand and held it as we drove and without saying a word to each other, the tension went away. he just looked at me and smiled and i knew we were in love. so we got out of the car at the mall i think and we walked holding hands and then MY ALARM WENT OFF.

i hope i dream of this man tonight. he was cute! hahaha

anyways
PEACE

ray charles

Fitty One!

Day 51 - A picture you had no idea was being taken.

Hahahaha there have been a few of these. Photos of candid moments can work out really well, like my current facebook pic from my birthday this past summer. I love that photo, i'm like bending over laughing with a pirate hat on, i think it's cute haha. And in other photos you end up looking ridic or just really bad lol. But they make for great memories. Thank God for friends who take random photos of everyone.

Anyway, I have my environmental law exam tonight, and I've sort of studied. I'm on campus right now so I plan to study for the next 3 hours and then head over to the exam building for 7. I came downtown early to go Christmas shopping, and I ended up on a mission to two HMVs to find a movie for my mom...and i ended up buying my bro a movie too lol. I also found one of those angel figurines my mom collects, so all my shopping is done! I can't wait to wrap gifts tomorrow and bake Christmas cookies!!

ps. I'm missing the last Leafs game tonight before the holiday break because of my stupid exam...but on the 26th the World Juniors begins!

+ Lorelie

A white blank page and a swelling rage

So we put up our new fake Christmas tree today. Its looks really good, but I still miss having a real tree and the real tree smell. Plus I keep OCD-ing on the branches trying to make them look straight and balanced lol.

I checked out that beautiful people website Ray Charles mentioned, and it's ridiculous. I was actually expecting like, legit model photos and profiles of super gorgeous people, but most of them just look like normal facbook profilc pics haha... ya some of the guys are cute, and if you like big boobs and fake faces the girls are pretty. But really, I don't think that's beautiful at all. I think tons of make up and fake body parts and super abs and muscles look disgusting. I'm much more attracted to a guy who looks normal and I find him cute just because I find him cute lol...like, i love Seth Green who isn't your typical hollywood hunk, and a few hockey players I'm sure other girls wouldn't find as attractive. Anyway, people who are on that website are dumb-asses.


Day 50 - A picture of a time you were anything but happy & trying to fake it.

Ok, so I don't normally take photos when I'm unhappy lol...so I don't actually have any. There have been a few times where I have been unhappy but faked being happy. Usually when I'm sad or pissed off I keep to myself and hide out in my room, because no one likes to be around people in bad moods. But there have been instances where I was with friends or family and I just had to fake happiness instead. Here are some moments I can actually remember:

1) Prom at the end of grade 12 - I was very happy and excited for prom, and for most of it I was happy. In the beginning of the night I was estatic, especially since I was on prom committee and I helped decorate the hall. But then at one point during the night a certain someone showed up and ruined it for me. I wasn't really all that happy afterwards, but I was able to fake it and then eventually I wasn't too upset anymore. Of course, my mom showed up to the after party later that night and I freaked out because I thought she saw us drinking (she actually didn't see us drinking haha). So that night was a roller coaster of emotions for me hahaha.

2) Sometimes at home around my family I get really upset with my mom, or sometimes I just get into my moods where I just want to be alone in my room and I get all sad when I'm writing or something. So I'll fake that I'm not sad or moody whenever someone from my family comes into my room.

3) Last moment I can think of is last Christmas at our friends "family Chirstmas" lunch get together. It was pretty tense and awkward. I could tell some people weren't happy to be around other people, and I felt like I was a kid trying to keep peace between divorced parents. I even arranged it so certain friends sat on one end away from other friends. I was happy because I got to see everyone, but I was not so happy with the tension and awkwardness...plus I was kind of upset with one friend, and of course she made it worse when I got to the restaurant. She wasn't in a very pleasant mood and she tends to pick on me the most...but I ended up going back to her house after and we just sort of worked things out like we always do. But overall it was nice seeing everyone, I just had to keep my cool and not snap on people lol.


The Leafs and Canucks game last night was epic, such a good game. And not just because my two fave teams were playing each other lol. The Canucks greenmen were back at it with a jumbo size box of waffles, a "Draft picks for sale!" sign, and Santa's naughty list with all the Leafs players' names on it hahaha. If I didn't love the Canucks and the greenmen so much, as a Leafs fan I'd be pissed. The Canucks won it 4-1 (last goal was an empty netter, so doesn't count lol), but the Leafs played pretty well for the Leafs.

ps. EXAM TOMORROW AHHHH!

+ Lorelie

day fifty

Day 50 - A picture of a time you were anything but happy; trying to fake it

there's probably lots of photos where i was only pretending to be happy
its funny because i am looking for old photos with my cousin and myself and my brothers so i was going through old albums and there are christmas ones where i knew i wasn't happy

more recently i would say there's definitely two sets of photos where i was really faking it.
one time would have been my friend at the time, my old best friends birthday. all of our friends from home had come up to celebrate and some of our friends from school were there too. it should have been fun but i was actually really annoyed at her. i remember her being all over her boyfriend and not hanging out with her friends. at this creepy bar i had to go to the bathroom and everyone else was somewhere else in the bar and i asked her to come with me because you never go to the bathroom alone...and she said that she was with *insert jackass boyfriends name here* and couldn't leave him and she pointed to the door of the bathroom. those pictures were not taken with real happiness

another would be one time when i went to a show at school with j and my old roommate and her boyfriend. it was supposed to be fun but instead j and i were ignored, just like i had been the entire summer and since they started dating. although i had fun with j and we took some nice photos, i wasn't really happy because i wanted to be with my best friend but that was impossible.

last night i was watching tv and there was a show called "beautiful people" and its about a dating website that is exclusive to beautiful people http://www.beautifulpeople.com/index/en. it actually one of the most ridiculous things i have seen in a very long time and i think i have seen a lot of stupid things. in order to be accepted, you have to submit a photo and then the community has to rate you and you have to continue to be rated beautiful to stay on the site. the show is about the making and running of the site. i am pretty sure it was the first episode and the creators were on it talking about how beautiful people should only talk and be with beautiful people. they also said they weren't conceited or shallow because everyone else is just jealous. i don't even know what to say with regards to the show. why do boys and girls grow up with low self esteem and low self worth? why are so many boys and especially girls have such high body dissatisfaction? fuck our society. there's a lot of pressure to look a certain way and i hate it. and there's so much focus on beauty. then sites like this come up where people are essentially not good enough and that's just bull. the show can reveal how the society is vain and egotistical yet it perpetuates it.

anyways, that's my rant
i am sick of this world, i really am

ray charles

day forty nine

Day 49 - A picture with your newest friend.

i would say my newest friends would be people i have met through j
not really close with them but have partied and have done dinners and movies and stuff
i guess those would be my newest
most people i have known for a while and have become close or not so close but hang out at school or something
im not the best at meeting new people just because im hard to get to know so people dont always like taking the time i suppose

ooo i got an A in my soc seminar, yippeeeeeeee

ray charles

Forty nine

Day 49 - A picture with your newest friend.

I can't actually figure out who my newest friend is lol...I have a few friends from work I became closer with over the summer and I hung out with them more, but I guess I've known them for a while. There are also a few friends from my classes, some I've become closer with this past year as well.

As for very good friends, I met my best university friend during frosh week, and we've been pretty close ever since. We even went to Montreal together in 2008! We've done a lot of things together and I'm really glad I met her, I've met a lot of other new friends through her as well.

Anyway, tonight I finally get to see Ray Charles and our other bff's! I'm sooo excited!! And the Leafs play the Canucks! It's going to be a good night lol.

+ Lorelie

day forty eight

Day 48 - A picture with your oldest friend.

i would say my oldest friends would my brothers
i've known one my entire life and the other for 19 years and we are all really close

besides family
i have known one friends since i was in grade 3 so we were 8. we were best friends from then until i would say grade 10 ish. i moved so it became hard to keep in contact but we talk every once and a while and nothing has really changed.
other friends i have known for a while would be two of my really good friends i've known since grade 9. actually, one of them i met on the first day of grade 9 and we had gym and religion together and sat beside each other.

that is all!
ray charles

BFFs

Day 48 - A picture with your oldest friend.

This is me and my best best friend at my 5th birthday party. We met when we were four and she tried taking toys off of my lawn while I was playing outside. She claims she thought it was a garage sale lol. She still lives two houses away from me, and though a lot has changed over the past seventeen years, we're still bff's. I can't imagine growing up without her, she was like a sister to me when we were kids.




Below is a picture of me and my bro from Christmas 1992, and look what he's wearing!! That's right, used to be a Leafs fan haha. Technically, my bro is my oldest friend since I've known him since I was born lol. I love this kid.

Anyways, I think I'm going to bake cookies and make some more Christmas ornaments for my family, I've made eight for mt friends already! I should probably study. I don't think I'm going to my work Christmas party tonight since I don't think any of my good friends are going, oh well. Now that my foot is healed I talked to my boss and she might call me in next week, it's always crazy there before Christmas.

+ Lorelie

Forty Seven

Day 47 - A picture of a time that is over & you couldn't be more happy it was.

Every year when I have exams and papers are due, I can't wait to be done! I hate when there's a holiday like Christmas coming up, but I have to get through two weeks of brutal school work before I can really enjoy myself and hangout with my friends. Like right now, I have an exam monday and a paper to finish for the 23rd, ugh.

All the sad or awful moments in my life have made me who I am today, and as horrible as they were, I wouldn't be the same person without them. Even though I'm happy they're over, I guess I needed them to happen. So instead of any of those, I were to put a photo of a time I'm happy is over, it would be last week when school was raping me with exams and papers haha.

I'm working on Christmas gifts for my friends right now, they're coming together very nicely!

+ Lorelie

day forty seven

Day 47 - A picture of a time that is over; you couldn't be more happy it was

hmm
i have been sitting here for 5 minutes trying to think of something
i would say that i am glad the whole fiasco with someone i am no longer friends with is over.
so if i could find a picture i guess it would be one that expressed the time from the end of first year until the end of second year. although its not completely over i guess because its not like we are friends or sometimes the events and feelings are talked about, its over because i'm no longer in pain and constantly upset about it. it doesnt effect my personality and how i feel or how i act, so its over. i can't think of a picture to describe it so...meh

another time that is over is everything my family dealt with living in my old house. moving to where we are now got us away from everything. he no longer knew where we were or what school we went to so it took a lot of worry off all of our shoulders. hes not out of my life because he likes to come back because he thinks we will all of a sudden need him or something but he's more out of my life than he used to be, and i couldn't be happier.

im going christmas shopping with my mom today
i need to make my gifts for people...my fingers will hurt hahaha

ray charles

day forty six

Day 46 - A picture of a time that is over but you wish wasn't

i didn't want to leave italy.
it was the first time i had ever been on a plane and had ever left north america
i was there for 10 days and it was the fastest 10 days in my entire life
it was amazing and i didn't want to leave

i also wish two summers ago didn't have to end. i never actually want summer to end because i never want to go back to school but two summers ago there was some other stuff going on. it was the first time i had felt like myself in a long time, i became close to the 4 really amazing love of my life friends i have today and it was the summer that this man stole my heart. that summer was full of laughter and tears from laughter and giddyness and pure joy. it was just an amazing summer and i never wanted it to end.

i'm also thinking i don't want to be done my undergrad. i'm nervous about grad school and i'm very sad that i will be moving out of my house and not living with j. we've lived together for 3 years now and for 4 years in the same building. i can't imagine what life is going to be like when we are separated by distance and life... its part of growing up but i'm not sure if i am ready to leave this whole my life is school yet. even though im not technically done if i get into grad school but it feels like its ending because its ending for all my friends...

i must finish my laundry
and watch tv hahaha
and make dinner eventually

ray charles

Day 46 and my toe is healed!

BIG NEWS! MY TOE IS COMPLETELY HEALED! I went to the fracture doctor today and got it x-rayed, and he said the bone is fully healed now! But it's still swollen and a little bruised, but that will take another month to go down. However, I can wear normal shoes and boots, although they're pretty tight because of the swelling. But I can walk almost completely normally! I'm going to the mall with my mom now, yay for Christmas shopping!

Day 46 - A picture of a time that is over but you wish wasn't.

There are a few days I wish never ended:

1) Apple picking in the fall with Ray Charles and our other friends, we made pies and went to the neighbourhood bar after lol, such an awesome day...and really just the days I’ve spent with my besties where we watch movies or go on adventures, can’t wait for more of these days over the holiday break!

2) Leafs games I’ve been too (but they lost two of the three I’ve been too, the last one was horrible actually lol), but the World Juniors pre-tournament game I went to with my friend two years ago was the best game EVER. It was at the ACC and Canada kicked Sweden’s ass! We had a few drinks, we were sitting with some other girls who were really into the game, the entire crowd was cheering and going crazy...the atmosphere was so much better than the ones at the Leafs games I’ve been too, SO fun and energetic!

3) A few parties I’ve been to and trips I’ve been on that have been really fun! The Montreal trip I went on in 2009 was one of my favourite trips, awesome club/party nights, and of course the model UN trips I've been on.

+ Lorelie

Where are my pom-poms?

A few things came to my mind tonight while watching the Leafs and Oilers game. First, I saw that the Oilers now have Canada’s first NHL cheerleading team.

Ok, so I like cheerleaders and all, I sort of wish I could have done it in highschool, but we didn’t have cheerleaders. However, there should not be any cheerleaders in hockey! Especially not in the NHL, and especially not in Canada. I know a lot of American teams have cheerleaders, especially in cities like Atlanta or Carolina where hockey isn’t as popular. But even places like Chicago, an original six team, have cheerleaders. Ugh. But Americans will be Americans, and they love their football cheerleaders and basket ball dance groups.

What pisses me off is that Edmonton now has cheerleaders, called the “Oilers Octane,” haha what a play on words. Anyway, as a girl myself, this gets confusing. I get that it’s mainly men who watch hockey, and I get that men like to be entertained by attractive women in skimpy outfits dancing around during intermission. But after reading some news articles about how the Octane did tonight, it’s clear no one really cared in Rexall areana. The cheerleaders didn’t get a loud applause, the crowd didn’t go wild, none of the players even noticed they were there, and Taylor Hall was the biggest story. So why does a Canadian city where hockey is very popular need cheerleaders?



I thought I’d look more into this, maybe these girls just really love the Oilers. Well, no. According to the bios I read, they’ve all been super trained in dance, they love baking and hanging out with friends, and none of them seem to care about hockey or the Oilers. When answering why they “love” hockey, most of them put something like, “because it’s fast-paced and exciting!” which makes me feel as though they didn’t know what to put, so someone gave them that line. Only one of them wrote that she played hockey growing up, and only one other wrote that she grew up watching hockey and the Oiler’s are her dad’s favourite team. Ok, so maybe a few actually like hockey, maybe even watch games. But I think they’re more concerned with looking good in their little Oilers jersey mini dresses, wearing tons of make-up and dancing. And not to be rude, but a lot of them are “but-her faces” lol...ok, I know that was rude, but it’s true. I’m just frustrated that a Canadian team now has cheerleaders when they don’t even need them. I heard on the news tonight that there’s a petition going around that already has 1500 signatures to get rid of the cheerleaders. We’ll see how long these girls last.

I just feel like cheerleaders in hockey give a certain impression of girls – that we don’t know much about hockey, or that we only like doing girly things like cheerleading and don’t watch games...the stuff that could make it hard for me as a girl to be respected for my opinions. Most guys I’ve talked hockey with do respect me and my opinion, I only ever get ridiculed for being a Leafs fan lol. And guys at work even said that I know more about hockey than all of them together, which was really flattering. So it’s not a problem for me right now, but that’s because I can usually talk the hockey talk. Still, I don’t want it to become a problem. We’ll see what happens if I get a spot in the NHL committee in January at the UN conference I’m attending in Montreal...I have a feeling I may be surrounded by guys. But that could work in my benefit since they may not think I’m a threat...but between my NHL knowledge and my model UN skills, I will own that committee haha.

Last thing, I found it funny that my dad was downstairs watching the end of Glee with my mom before their other show came on, instead of watching the Leafs game. Of course I called him out on it, but he doesn’t care much for the Leafs anymore...too many years of bitterness for the Leafs failing to win I suppose lol. But then here I was painting my nails purple in between periods lol...and I made a Toronto Maple Leafs Christmas tree ornament today, with glitter and gems bahahaha...so, I think I’ve found a nice balance between loving hockey and being girly, without selling out by wearing jersey mini dresses and cheering. I prefer to yell (not cheer) at the tv anyways lol.

Oh and the Leafs got their revenge on Edmonton! They won 4-1! Now on to Calgary!

+ Lorelie