Day 50 - A picture of a time you were anything but happy; trying to fake it
there's probably lots of photos where i was only pretending to be happy
its funny because i am looking for old photos with my cousin and myself and my brothers so i was going through old albums and there are christmas ones where i knew i wasn't happy
more recently i would say there's definitely two sets of photos where i was really faking it.
one time would have been my friend at the time, my old best friends birthday. all of our friends from home had come up to celebrate and some of our friends from school were there too. it should have been fun but i was actually really annoyed at her. i remember her being all over her boyfriend and not hanging out with her friends. at this creepy bar i had to go to the bathroom and everyone else was somewhere else in the bar and i asked her to come with me because you never go to the bathroom alone...and she said that she was with *insert jackass boyfriends name here* and couldn't leave him and she pointed to the door of the bathroom. those pictures were not taken with real happiness
another would be one time when i went to a show at school with j and my old roommate and her boyfriend. it was supposed to be fun but instead j and i were ignored, just like i had been the entire summer and since they started dating. although i had fun with j and we took some nice photos, i wasn't really happy because i wanted to be with my best friend but that was impossible.
last night i was watching tv and there was a show called "beautiful people" and its about a dating website that is exclusive to beautiful people http://www.beautifulpeople.com/index/en. it actually one of the most ridiculous things i have seen in a very long time and i think i have seen a lot of stupid things. in order to be accepted, you have to submit a photo and then the community has to rate you and you have to continue to be rated beautiful to stay on the site. the show is about the making and running of the site. i am pretty sure it was the first episode and the creators were on it talking about how beautiful people should only talk and be with beautiful people. they also said they weren't conceited or shallow because everyone else is just jealous. i don't even know what to say with regards to the show. why do boys and girls grow up with low self esteem and low self worth? why are so many boys and especially girls have such high body dissatisfaction? fuck our society. there's a lot of pressure to look a certain way and i hate it. and there's so much focus on beauty. then sites like this come up where people are essentially not good enough and that's just bull. the show can reveal how the society is vain and egotistical yet it perpetuates it.
anyways, that's my rant
i am sick of this world, i really am
ray charles
there's probably lots of photos where i was only pretending to be happy
its funny because i am looking for old photos with my cousin and myself and my brothers so i was going through old albums and there are christmas ones where i knew i wasn't happy
more recently i would say there's definitely two sets of photos where i was really faking it.
one time would have been my friend at the time, my old best friends birthday. all of our friends from home had come up to celebrate and some of our friends from school were there too. it should have been fun but i was actually really annoyed at her. i remember her being all over her boyfriend and not hanging out with her friends. at this creepy bar i had to go to the bathroom and everyone else was somewhere else in the bar and i asked her to come with me because you never go to the bathroom alone...and she said that she was with *insert jackass boyfriends name here* and couldn't leave him and she pointed to the door of the bathroom. those pictures were not taken with real happiness
another would be one time when i went to a show at school with j and my old roommate and her boyfriend. it was supposed to be fun but instead j and i were ignored, just like i had been the entire summer and since they started dating. although i had fun with j and we took some nice photos, i wasn't really happy because i wanted to be with my best friend but that was impossible.
last night i was watching tv and there was a show called "beautiful people" and its about a dating website that is exclusive to beautiful people http://www.beautifulpeople.com/index/en. it actually one of the most ridiculous things i have seen in a very long time and i think i have seen a lot of stupid things. in order to be accepted, you have to submit a photo and then the community has to rate you and you have to continue to be rated beautiful to stay on the site. the show is about the making and running of the site. i am pretty sure it was the first episode and the creators were on it talking about how beautiful people should only talk and be with beautiful people. they also said they weren't conceited or shallow because everyone else is just jealous. i don't even know what to say with regards to the show. why do boys and girls grow up with low self esteem and low self worth? why are so many boys and especially girls have such high body dissatisfaction? fuck our society. there's a lot of pressure to look a certain way and i hate it. and there's so much focus on beauty. then sites like this come up where people are essentially not good enough and that's just bull. the show can reveal how the society is vain and egotistical yet it perpetuates it.
anyways, that's my rant
i am sick of this world, i really am
ray charles
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